WHY...

this entry is in response to a question forwarded by a reader yesterday (i actually have people READING my blog ;)). the question - why PLUs are PLUs?

frankly speaking, i am not quite sure whether i would be the right person to give the answer to this question. well, i can talk about my personal experience.. and perhaps the experience of a few other fellow plus which i have come to know in the past few months. but that's about it.. i am not able to provide a holistic view of the matter.

some PLUs like me, came to learn about their abnormal sexual preference at a very early age (i'm talking about pre-school age here). it’s almost like we were born with it. i’m guessing it has something to do with the level of estrogen and testosterone in your body which is somehow imbalanced. most of us spent our childhood in utter confusion… being aroused by things that we shouldn’t be aroused at and vice versa. but nonetheless, we did not tell anyone… and played along like everything was fine. we shrugged it off as temporary, non-threatening thoughts that most probably did not mean anything. during pre-puberty we always thought things would change… cos everyone said that there will be one night when you will dream of ‘getting married’ (READ: having an intercourse with a girl a.k.a akil baligh).. so we waited.. and waited… but that dream never came. instead, OTHER dreams came.. and at that point, we were starting to feel that we may not be like other boys after all.

come secondary school years, it got harder… hormone levels were up and men was all that we would think about. but we still kept everything to ourselves. in addition to that, there were a lot more instances where we were required to ‘berlakon’.. when friends showed us photos of bare-chested women.. we would pretend to be oogling at the photos and make obnoxious sex-hungry comments like the rest of our peers (although the effect that we get from those photos is pretty much the same as what we get from looking at photos of a tree or a cow even). but still, the show must go on… and all the lakonan perlu diteruskan. some of us even had girlfriends (myself incuded) in high school - to cover the fact that we are PLUs and to somehow try and make ourselves be attracted to the opposite sex

most of us have adequate knowledge of our religion... at least enough to know that what we want is forbidden by our religion… but what can we do? we are left without a choice - we have been deprived of the birth right of a man - which is to be able to be attracted to a woman.

so in short, if you ask me why am i a PLU, my answer would be that i don’t know… i just am. it’s like asking a person – why are you a man (or a woman)? how do you answer that? you just are.

before i end this entry, there are a few things that i would like to point out here:

1. being a PLU is NOT a choice
2. most PLUs wish that they are not one
3. most PLUs had a terrible childhood
4. most PLUs had an even more terrible adolescent years
5. most PLUs don’t know where to go to seek guidance to address this problem
6. most PLUs wish that they would wake up one day and not be a PLU anymore

if somewhere along the way you find out that a friend of yours is a PLU, don’t sneer at him. and don’t judge him. chances are, he had to learn how to keep a dark secret and deal with his queerness when you were still playing with your Barbie dolls (if you are a girl) or your Transformers (if you are a guy). believe me, it’s no small feat.

p.s.: i should note here some guys become PLU only after going through a sexual experience with a member of the same sex, usually during their adolescent years. but since i did not experience this, i shall not delve on further about this. you will have to ask someone else about this.

oh yeah and about the other question ... which is why a lot of what is perceived by women as 'ideal men' are gay... the answer is simple - most of us such hotties! heheh.. who am i kidding here...

anyway, again i think it has something to do with your estrogen ans testosterone levels.. which determine your characteristics and traits (apart from your sexual preference). PLUs tend to share similar characteristics of a female to some extent. i believe we are more compassionate, more thoughtful, more considerate, more sensitive towards other people's feelings. you can confide in us much easier and communicate with us easier too (the book 'men are from mars, women are from venus' does not apply to us because we are from venus too!). basically, we are more refined than the average straight men. add that to good looks, a good brain and a good career (a combination which is surprisingly possessed by more and more PLUs these days) and you'll get your dream man. too bad he dreams about what you dream of too :)

did that help?