TO TELL OR NOT TO TELL...

an ex-housemate of mine came to visit yesterday. we were housemates for more than 2 years before i moved to the place where i am staying currently. he was the only self-confessed PLU friend that i know back then.

for some reasons he had always been open about his PLU activities to me when we were housemates. he was not like this to our other roommates. with me, he used to confide a lot of things... the guy he was dating … his relationship problems. of course, i was a little worried. people have said that each PLU is equipped with a gaydar that is able to identify a fellow PLU in a matter of seconds (but somehow i think mine isn’t working so well… where do you send it for repairing anyway?). was he trying to make me confess by generously sharing information about his activities? or is it just because he thinks i’m a very good listener (which i think i am… eheh). after doing a lot of thinking, i’ve concluded that it was probably due to the latter. because, although he is a good friend, he is also a gullible friend. an EXTREMELY gullible friend. we were watching Flava on Channel V last night and there was a Destiny’s Child special. There was a segment when they flashed out all of DC’s group members and when Beyonce’s name came out, he remarked “laa… Beyonce Knowles tu Destiny’s Child ke? aku tak tau pun...” gullible? I think so… well, maybe because the fact Beyonce Knowles is not a GUY, made her very unappealing to him… but still… i think even my 8-year-old niece is aware of that fact.

anyway, we spent the most of yesterday together (with the exception of some parts of the evening, when an UNINVITED guest decided to join us for a movie - jangan marah sizzlingmee ;P ) but throughout the time when we were together (not in a romantic way.. just together), i felt tempted to come clean… a couple of times. i don’t know why… maybe it’s guilt. i mean this is one person i know who trust me enough to tell me things that are very personal to him, but i am still not able to do the same to him. it could also be because i have told other PLUs that i have barely known that i am one. therefore i think telling him (someone who ishared a house with for more than 2 years) is almost necessary. i somehow feel that it is his RIGHT to know…

but in the end, i decided not to tell… at least not for now. there is always a risk involved – the risk of pecah lobang. as dear he is a friend to me, i’m just afraid that one not-so-fine day, it could just slip his mouth. and since we have a few mutual friends, i think that is one risk that i should avoid at the moment. but I still feel that he deserves to know… i guess we’ll see how things go…

my brother is sitting for his SPM starting from tomorrow… called him to give some last minute advice… that went something like this “good luck esok… buat betul-betul… baca soalan betul-betul sebelum jawab”. i guess that was adequate. i don’t know if anything i said would register in his mind anyway… you know how it was like when you were a student… all the advice given to you sound the same. and you don’t really care. you just want to get it done and over with. well, to my brother, good luck facing the most terrifying weeks of your life (it’s ironic that i’m wishing him something here when at the same time i wish for the love of god that he would never come across this blog… heheh)