APOLOGY

for those of you who have been checking out this blog for new entries, i'm sorry that i have not been able to post anything for quite some time. a lot of things has happened in the past few days / weeks that it has been hard for me to make any updates. let's just say that i'm currently taking life lessons on relationships and dealing with human emotions (in particular my own). all part of growing up. and to prepare myself for bigger heartaches in the future. i have to say, it's all been very challenging so far. overwhelming, in fact.

love is turning out to be harder than how i expected it to be. i thought the hard part was to find that someone whom you like who likes you back. i thought THAT was the challenge. but i now realised that even if you have that, it may not be enough. there's so many other things that can fail it. now, it's more like a gamble. i think i've just lost my bet. and i'm painfully paying for it now.

however, the thing that is happening to me now has enabled me to think clearer about the other aspect of my life. about the decision that i have to make in the near future. it was able to correct some misconceptions that i had about certain things. perhaps i can call it a revelation. but is the revelation worth the pain that i'm suffering now? i don't know... we'll see.

i'm not taking a hiatus or anything. but as i said, i'm a bit overwhelmed at the moment. so it might be a while before i can write my next entry. in any case, i just feel like i need to write something just to let you guys know that i'm still alive (albeit barely). and i also know that most of you won't be able to know what i'm writing about. but sometimes, not knowing is good. ignorance IS bliss. trust me. because trying to forget something that you know - is almost impossible.