IT'S ACTING UP AGAIN

i hate having sore throats. i hate it because i have never been successful to stop it from getting worse. it always starts with that small irritation doesn't it? the irritation that makes you "ahemmmm" every few seconds. i had that while i was watching american idol last night. "oh crap..". as usual, i tried my best to not let it get worse. i drank a lot of water, took some cough medicine, and popped in a few strepsils. one after another. actually i don't know why i keep buying strepsils. they never seem to work (damn you strepsils!). but i can't take fisherman's friend because it's too mentholated. i'll sneeze if i take anything mentholated. and to sneeze when you have a bad sore throat.. is like, uhm, very painful ok? (himbo alert - hahaha). it's excruciating. mcm nak tercabut anak tekak ni.

but as i expected, i woke up today with an even worse sore throat than last night. and it has not gotten any much better. and i'm still popping those bloody strepsils (hoping for a miracle). and now i can't talk much. more importantly, i won't be able to sing in the car on my way back (oh yeah, i car pool with my manager everyday. and since he's not so much fun to talk too, i've been singing in the car to kill time. he doesn't seem to mind - i have a nice voice..wakakaka)

after being in this body for almost 27 years, i have managed to understand a little bit more about it. my body seems to respond to my emotional being. just like me, my body is a very sensitive and emotional .. thing. i remember when i was in form 5, my father told me that he wanted to enrol me for add maths tuition during one of the school holidays (i HATED add maths and was not really good at it, except for when it comes to taburan kebarangkalian which i TOTALLY get. but give me janjang or pembezaan or pengamiran and i will beg for your mercy). anyway, the idea of having to do add maths during the school holidays was unberable to me. and because of this, i had a bad stomachache. a very bad stomachache. it took a while for me to put two and two together but eventually i figured it out. nowadays, i realise that if i am emotionally distressed, i can expect either a very bad stomachache or a very bad sore throat / fever. same thing happened again during last year's raya. i was so stressed that i couldn't go back that i was slapped with a very bad fever-cough-cold. the whole works. when i sneeze, blood came out (heheheh...gross kan?). i knew that i was sick not because anything, but merely because my body's acting up in response to my emotional being at that time (wah!!)

the thing is, currently i don't really feel THAT bad. i mean, of course it sucks having to come back here after 3 weeks in malaysia. but i'm not THAT miserable. there are some thingd that i'm looking forward to at the moment. like enjoying my life in the new apartment (how cool is it to be able to catch a cinema 5 minutes from where you walk?!!), losing more weight (it's so weird that i'm so optimistic about this) and finding a f*lipino anak ikan (wakakaka). then why is that my body's acting up strange? hmm... dahagakan kasih sayang kah? i've lived without it for so long ... it shouldn't bug me now, right? (sedih tak?).

in any case, i hope this goes away soon. cos whenever i'm sick, i become more ..subdued. and more importantly, i can't share my gift from God (my voice) with the people around me. i feel so.... selfish. hahahahha.