THIS IS MY NOWWWW!!!

note: the title has got nothing to do with the entry. saja je feeling2 jordin sparks sekejap... hahaha

my younger brother just got his matriculation results a few days back. and it's not really that good.

being the last one in the family, everyone was eager for his results. mostly because he is the only who is still studying (which makes him the only one in the family who are taking exams thus making him the only one in a 'structured' competition with other people. to my family, it's all about competition.. and winning) . although all of us want him to perform, i can't help but feel that some of my siblings are secretly enjoying his less than flattering results. like my elder brother, who is taking this opportunity to compare how HE did in university even when he was not provided with facilities which my younger brother has enjoyed. or my sister, who seems to have a talent of kicking you when you are down with her snide remarks. but for me, i really really wanted to do well for this exam. because i know what could be the consequences of not scoring in this matriculation exam. and because i know how badly my dad wants to put my younger brother, his last child, through university. i know that it would give him a tremendous feeling of relief if he is able to do that.

when i went back last march, i had a talk with my brother. a g*yman-to-man talk (hehehe). i told him to really really work hard for the exam. that his failure to do well in this exam could be detrimental to his future (over kan?). i told him about my friend's sister who is now doing medicine (self-sponsored) in some former ussr country just because she didn't do very well in her matrics exam. i told him of some of the weird courses that they are offering in public universities which are usually offerred to students with bad matriculation exam cgpa. things like ijazah sarjana muda sains perhutanan (penghususan teknologi dan industri serat kayu) or ijazah sarjana muda kejuruteraan polimer or ijazah sarjana muda sains hortikultur (scary!). and how do i know all this? because i used to go out with some of these .... err... students.

apparently, the talk that i had with him was not very effective. he got a 2.63 for his cgpa. i spoke to him the other day and he sounded ok. he has always been like that. i little bit - emotionless (especially when you compare him with his dramatic brother). i spoke to my dad after that, and he sounded very disappointed. he was telling me that he might just enrol my brother to one of those kolej universiti, he doesn't think that even if my brother manage to get a place in the main universities, he's be able to pull it off.

my heart sank a little bit. i never thought that my dad would lose hope on my brother like that. i mean, the boy is not incapable. it's just that he has been a bit lazy and unfocused. and he does sleep a lot. A LOT. which, of course upsets my dad more because that would be one of his pet peeves (i remember that during semester breaks he would get pissed when i woke up at 10 am everyday saying that i sleep too much. what he doesn't know that at that time i was going to bed at 4 am everyday doing my... ermm... 'research'). my brother can just put his head on a pillow and doze off in about 2 seconds - something that i've never been able to do.

so now everyone is a bit pening of what he should do next. my sister suggested that he takes up computer science. he's eligible to apply to do computer science in one of the better universities but he said that he's not interested. he wants to do mechanical engineering. but he can only apply to those univerisities in sabah or sarawak because they have a lower requirement. my mother, of course, doesn't want him to go to sabah. my elder brother on the other hand, thinks that engineering is the best course in the world (mostly because he took the same course) and is advising him to go. my dad is still considering the less-competitive universiti kolej option for my brother.

i'm just afraid he is going to get neither. not computer science. not mechanical engineering. but there's a good chance that he'll get sains botani.. or some other merepek course. i just told him just apply for something that he likes so that there's a better chance that he'll study harder for it. the rest, i just ask him to leave to God. doa je la banyak-banyak. life takes you through amazing twists and turns that u might end up being nowhere close from what you plan to be.

when i was his age and i had to make my decision as to which degree course to take, i initially opted to take economics. and i remember writing this down vividly in my anaysis sheet as to a plus point for taking economics:

"i can be a writer for the far eastern economic review."

i actually got my first choice to do economics but changed course to accountancy after 4 weeks of studying. now, i work as an auditor in d*bai. and instead of writing for the far eastern economic review, i am now an author of a g*y blog. a long shot from the original plan?

just a tad :P