Friday, July 28, 2006


it is quite ironic that the day after i linked some youtube videos to my blog, they (as in the UAE government) decided to block the website. maybe they wanted to do me a favour. i've been watching that mishaomarandjaclyn video too many times that maybe they think that they should put a stop to it for my own good ..heheh (ok maybe that 's a little bit far fatched - i know). whatever it is, i have a real problem at the moment - HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WATCH MY AF4 NOW?!!!

i try to make myself like this country.. but it seems like it has not allowed me to do so that easily. maybe it doesn't want me to. i've tried to not be so negative of everything.. of the things that are different here. i learned to adapt and make changes. but it feels like it is asking for too much from me. and i'm getting a bit sick of it.

before i came here, i made some research. but apparently no amount of research could have prepared me for the crap that i have to tolerate here. upon my arrival, i discovered that they have blocked myspace. fine. two months ago, they blocked flickr. and then a month ago they decided to blocked voip calls (on the grounds of protecting the local telecommunications industry - which essentially consist of one government controlled telecommunications company WHICH by the way made a profit of RM 2 b for the last financial year WHICH is not bad at all for a telco of a country with mere 4 million-something population). and now this. at the way things are going, it is not even impossible anymore that they'll block eventually. not impossible at all. after all, they already have a standard reason for it:

when i found out that they've blocked youtube, i was furious. i told my colleague "that's it la. 6 more months and i'm getting out of here". he laughed.

but i was only half-joking.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006


writing about matters of the heart is never easy. that is why i have been avoiding it so far. maybe i felt that it was a bit too personal. maybe it's because i'm afraid that if things don't go well in the relationship, it would be hard to forget about it as there would always be the entry to remind me of it. but this time, i actually feel that i need to make an entry on this. so that i can remind myself. and learn from the whole thing that happened. so this time, i'm making an exception.

cinta tegarkan hatiku
tak mau sesuatu merenggut engkau
naluriku berkata
tak ingin terulang lagi
kehilangan cinta hati
bagai raga tak bernyawa

aku junjung petuamu
cintai dia yang mencintaiku
hati yang dulu belayar
kini telah menepi
bukankah hidup kita
akhirnya harus bahagia

'cinta' by krisdayantiandmellygoeslaw

i used to hate this song (basically because i am not a fan of ms coleslaw there. she's just too weird for me). but i could never forget one line of the lyrics since the first time i heard the song:

cintai dia yang yang mencintaiku

this particular line had stayed in my mind like a bad jingle. maybe because i totally did not agree with it. with the whole concept. love someone just because that person loves you? what about what YOU want?

but something happened to me recently that finally made me understand what it means. it's just a pity that it took a heartbreak for me to understand it.

well such is life.

should really listen more to what the great singers are saying from now on. krisdayantiandmelly have said it, mishaomarandjaclyn have said it (and kicked some ass while saying it). even farhanandvelvet have said it. i should have listened. could have spared me some heartache..

biar saja ada
yang terjadi biar saja terjadi
bagaimanapun hidup
memang hanya cerita
cerita tentang meninggalkan dengan ditinggalkan

how true


yup i'm back.. (well actually i've been back for 4 days now). back to reality. the reality that i don't seem to like so much. i remember feeling horrible when i look out the airplane window and saw the desert (as the plane was about to land). i hate the desert. i want my hutan hujan khatulistiwa (tropical rainforest) back!!!

9 more months before i get to see the rainforest again... and i'm counting ...

Sunday, July 23, 2006


many bloggers would have an entry dedicated on facts about themselves. not wanting to miss the bandwagon, i'm going to have my own 100-things-about-me entry. but instead of listing 100 things about me, i've decided to limit the list to just 80. why? because 1) to list 100 interesting things about me is a near impossible 2) i was born in 1980 which makes the number 80 rather significant 3) there's just a need for me to distinguish myself from the other people on the bandwagon...kekekek

i had carefully planned so that i could write this entry as my 80th entry. and i had planned to write about it while i was flying back to d*bai from kl. but since i didn't bring my laptop back, i had to request some stationery from this rather cute steward who was very helpful and obliging. at best, i can only take short naps during my flight. coupled with the fact that the flight that i took does not have individual entertainment unit (which means i have to strain my neck just to watch big momma's house 2), it's the perfect time for me to dig up really hard to find 80 things that's worth mentioning here. so here we go (in chronological order whenever possible):

1. my mom told me that I was the least problematic child to raise of all her children. Never gave her a problem during feeding time (no wonder I look like this!!)
2. when I was a baby, a robber tried to break in into our house. he was almost successful but my incessant crying (on that particular night only – remember I was a very good baby) woke my parents up and they managed to call the police on time. I was a heroic baby.
3. i was the first in my class from standard 2 to standard 6. i don't know what happenned after that. pre-adolescence kicked in i guess.
4. i was chosen to be in mini parlimen when i was in standard 5 but turned down the offer. i don't like cheap publicity.
5. my sister gave me and four of my friends tuition classes when I was in standard 6. she was pissed off at me during class cos I answered the questions too fast. She actually warned me to give my friends a chance.
6. so far i have only been admitted to the hospital once. it was for a fractured arm. i was in standard 3. i fell while trying to jump over an EXTREMELY wide drain while playing aci kejar. had to stay out of school for 2 weeks but still managed to be the first in class in the subsequent term exam.
7. i was the penolong ketua pengawas 1 back in primary school and setiausaha lembaga pengawas sessi petang in secondary school.
8. i started wearing glasses when i was 7. i should have started wearing it when i was 6, but i managed to escape from the eye test when i was in kindergarten. my first pair of spectacles was one of those too-big-for-my-face, brown-coloured, thick-rimmed plastic glasses that would personify a geek in a prof. razak mohaideen movie.
9. i still wear my glasses to work (in my attempt to look distinguished and intellectual), but when i go out socialising (a.k.a. buy groceries at carrefour), i'd wear my contacts. people say that i have nice eyebrows so i think i should flaunt my assets whenever possible (maybe because i dont have a lot of assets to speak of to start with)
10. i am too honest and naïve for my own good. during orientation week at my boarding school (I went to a boarding school after my PMR), the students were required to get the signature of all staff / teachers within 2 days. Some students were caught forging the signatures. We were asked to assemble in a room and the teacher announced “those who have forged signatures please stay in the room. those who have not may leave the room”. i was the only guy who left the room.
11. i think i have established that i love singing. but for me singing is not just a favourite pastime, it's also a de-stressing mechanism. i have kept my sanity in tact during those traffic jams in kl by singing in my car. i feel good when i reach those high notes (the word 'when' was purposely used instead of 'if' .. heheh)
12. i always imagine myself trying out for malaysian idol. and of course, being the master of my own imagination - the audition would go stupendously well.
13. whenever i get into a lift and find myself alone, i would start singing (to compensate for the lack of elevator music). as soon as the lift stops, i'd stop singing too
14. the first album that i bought was wilson philips. i bought it when i was 10. the cassette still works.
15. i only had a few celebrity crushes throughout my adolescent years. my first celebrity crush (as far as i can remember) was tommy puett from the show life goes on. i think i was 11 at that time.
16. it was followed by chris o'donnell after watching scent of a woman when i was 15. i would use my savings to buy all the videos of movies that has chris o donnell in them
17. when i was 18, i discovered friends (the sitcom) and was instantly smitten by matthew perry. i did the same thing that i did for chris. bought all the series and movies that he was in. but after the 7th season i stopped. i grew up
18. i’m embarrassed to say this, but I once sent matthew perry a card (i was 18 ok!) i got an autographed photo of him in return.
19. now that i allow myself to have crushes on real people, i don't have celebrity crushes anymore
20. but sometimes i feel like i am incapable of love
21. i have this weird need to close the door behind me properly when i am in a room since i was little. if the door is partially closed or is not closed properly, i would actually get up from my seat to close it
22. i have zero interest in football.this is a bit ironic because my dad used to play for the state and national youth team when he was younger (my dad is quite a celebrity during the old days apparently...heheh). he actually played during one of the malaysia cup finals.
23. if you go out with me (on a date or something ;P), chances are you woud see me order either one of the following beverages only - watermelon juice, milo ais or teh o ais. i strictly take old drinks only at any time of the day.
24. i don't take anything that has coffee in it (and this includes baskin & robbins' jamoca almond fudge)
25. i have low tolerance over spicy stuff. back home - when other people would request for 'sambal lebih' for their nasi lemak, i would request for 'sambal kurang, kacang lebih' instead.
26. i am also not a fan of durian.
27. or sambal tempoyak.
28. or gulai tempoyak for that matter.
29. despite all this - i am very melayu (although i am actually 3/4 malay and 1/4 chinese).i am not one of those urbanised malays who would try to disassociate themselves from their own race (which i think is seriously pathetic). i can speak malay with a very convincing loghat perak (it's fun!). and i watch malay movies in the cinema and buy (original) malay cd's just to support the local entertainment industry (although most of the movies are disappointing)
30. i have irritable bowel syndrome since as long as i can remember. whenever i have a nervous or uneasy thought, i would automatically need to go to the toilet. the morning before an interview (or a first date), my body would practically flush out everything that is flushable in my body. this means a minimum of 5 trips to the toilet in the span of 30 minutes. NOT FUN. and i think it's hereditary.
31. i need to shampoo my hair at least once a day. i have very thick hair that my scalp gets itchy because it sweats easily
32. i only use those creamy shampoos
33. i can't take minty stuff like polo or clorettes because i would sneeze as soon as i pop them into my mouth
34. i am a left-hander (which explains the obvious creativity in my writing...kekekek)
35. i have very nice handwriting (no use watering down the fact.. eheh). people have always complimented me on it.
36. but what i don't like is when they compliment me by saying "it looks like a girl's handwriting la". i hate it when they say that. pecah lubang.
37. i currently have 133 friends in my friendster. and in my testimonials - the word sarcastic / sarcasm has surfaced more than a few times.
38. my highest score ever recorded for bowling is 190.
39. the only sports medal that i have ever won was for tarik tali back in form 5. it was the sports day. we won gold.
40. i burn my tongue easily. but somehow i love sizzling mee (the food – not the ex-blogger) every time i eat sizzling mee i’d end up with a burnt tongue for a couple of days
41. i am a freak at organising my things. i maintain separate folders to keep all my statements (credit card, hand phone, car loan / housing loan deposit slips etc).
50. i also use different coloured clothes hanger to differentiate between work clothes, casual clothes, baju melayu etc.
51. i record my daily expenses in a planner since i was in uni. if u need to know how much did i spend on a particular day since 1999 – i’d be able to tell you.
52. the movie that i have watched the most would be “bring it on” (cheerleading movie which starred kirsten dunst). i must have watched it like a thousand times when i was in second year in uni (teen flicks rule!!!)
53. my least favourite song is aerosmith’s i don’t wanna miss a thing. can't stand it. ughh!
54. i always read the newspaper while i do my business in the toilet
55. i am currently using nokia 6610 which I bought from my brother (2nd hand) for 500 bucks back in 2004. cheapskate kan?
56. the last 3 watches that i bought were all swatches. i don’t think i should buy something more expensive than that at this point of time.
57. apart from d*bai, i’ve been to singapore, brunei, sri lanka, saudi arabia, france, uk, netherlands, austria, germany, switzerland, and italy (don’t be impressed by this though .. i went for a europe tour back in 2002 spent an average of 2 days in each of the European countries that i mentioned. learned almost nothing about the countries i visited)
58. but i’ve never been to sabah
59. there’s a cute steward who just smiled at me (*swoon!) heheh sorry got distracted
60. i used to read the sweet valley twins series when i was young. i later felt that it was too pecah lubang for me and decided to sell of all the books to a second hand bookstore. i used the money to buy my first cd player.
61. i have a fear of balloons. it’s called ligyrophobia.
62. i have a knack for remembering company logos and trademarks. but not roads and directions
63. i hate my job. not just my job – my profession
64. i don’t have a career plan. but all my friends think that i do. they think i am very ambitious. they cannot be more wrong. i just go where the money is.
65. i have no problem reading when i’m in a moving vehicle. i love doing it. makes me feel very efficient.
66. i am a very punctual person. i get aggravated easily when people are late.
67. i absolutely love children – especially toddlers. they are so cute!
68. but once they turn 4 or 5 and started becoming brats, i don’t play with them so much anymore.
69. i only learned about the existence of masturbating at the age of 16 (hehehe)
70. i don’t/can't watch black and white movies
71. i don’t think p.ramlee movies are all that great
72. i am NOT a morning person.
73. i am a terrible terrible liar. You can bet your life that every single thing I wrote here is true.
74. i am generally a polite person – until the other party mess up with me
75. i am a virgo who possess most of the good and bad traits associated with it. but i don’t believe in horoscopes
76. my zodiac says that i don’t make a good leader, but i am an excellent assistant. i totally think that it’s true. my current dream position is assistant manager. after that i want to go straight to assistant general manager. boleh ke macam tu ?
77. i have never once taken an alcoholic beverage
78. my favourite comic strips are baby blues and bizarro
79. when i chat with someone on irc, i give my real name.
80. i'm done!

there you go. 80 things about me - some self-praising, some self-humiliating. but all true nonetheless. it's all good baby!

p.s: i realised that by doing this entry those who know me would be able to pinpoint me even easier if they come across this blog. i'll just leave that to fate..

Thursday, July 20, 2006


i am back in malaysia. been here since last thursday. and i'm already flying back to d*bai tomorrow.


i know that i kinda promised a few people that i'd get in touch with them - but unfortunately, time did not permit. if you are one of these people - i'm SOOORRRYYYYY. i blame it on my boss. you should too. again -


i DID try to update something when i was back in ipoh... but i couldn't due to the unbelievably slow internet connection (or maybe i've gotten used to the broadband in d*bai). plus, the spacebar of my brother's computer keyboard constantly gets stucked. how to blog like that?!! ;P

now i'm in kl ... blogging from my sister's computer (which is very risky ok ..... need to banish all evidence later)... enjoying my last few hours in malaysia until i go back next year... *sob sob*

i'm leaving m'sia with an EXTREMELY heavy heart.... and i'm leaving a special someone with an even HEAVIER heart....

Tuesday, July 11, 2006


i got the ticket! i got the ticket! i got the ticket!


Friday, July 07, 2006


i received a call from my elder brother this morning. i already felt that something was amiss when i saw his name appear on my hp. he NEVER called. we sms each other occasionally. but he never called.

"eh, just thought that i'd let you know that uncle suffered a stroke this morning. he's in the ampang puteri now - unconscious. the doctor said that he is nazak already. i'm on my way to the hospital now."

"oh no... ok ok thanks for telling me. if there is any development, let me know ok?"

less than an hour after that, my brother called again.

"uncle dah meninggal. i'm still on my way to the hospital."


i have like a dozen uncles. but he is the only uncle whom we all call 'uncle'. he was my mom's younger brother. i would consider him among the closest uncles that i had. i remember when i was younger, we would always stay at his house if we go to kl (he was the only close relative who lived in kl back then). he helped our family a lot back then. he had always been there whenever there was a family event in kl. he would be at the college during my brother and sister's college registration day, he would be at the airport when we sent off my sister or brother to study in the uk. he even followed my mom to uk for my brother's graduation. my sister got her first job through his help. she stayed with my uncle for a few months when she started working in kl. i actually stayed with my uncle for a week during a job placement organised by my school when i was in form 4. but compared to the rest of my siblings, i was not as close to him as them. maybe because when i started my life in kl (in uni), i already had a brother and a sister who live in kl. so i was less dependant to him as compared to my other siblings. but nonetheless, i was quite close to him.

when i was younger, i remembered admiring my uncle. he was living in kl and his life appeared very sophisticated as compared to my dad. i remember sneaking to his room and i would see dozens of necktie hanging in his room. i would see bottles of perfumes lined up on his dressing table (some of them belonged to his wife of course but i remembered that he had a polo - the dark green bottle with the gold cap). and he had a tv in his room (which i thought was sooo cool back then. i was like 8 ok). it was very different from my dad's room. my dad did not wear a tie to work. and he definitely doesn't wear perfumes. and my parents didn't have a tv in their room up until a couple of years later. he was, in a way my idol when i was younger.

his health had deteriorated a little over the past few years. he had been required to go for dialysis on a regular basis. he was in and out of the hospital a ccouple of times last year. but of course, i never thought that he would go so soon. and so sudden. no one did. i think the whole family is still shocked. i know i am. i'm still a bit confused about my emotions here.. just now while reading the yasin for him, tears welled-up. but after that, i laughed my head off watching freaky friday on tv. and now while writing this, tears are welling up again.

sigh... even my emotions are indecisive.

anyway, i really appreciate if you guys can sedekahkan al fatihah to my uncle. i think that's the least i can do for him now. thanks.


thursday would usually be the day when i write my entry. but not this thursday. na-ah. can't do it. today was devoted to do the following things -

i. call EVERY SINGLE airline that flies to d*bai and kl (there are some issues with my flight plan which i'm still sorting out... fingers crossed!)

ii. packing my stuff - i'm still figuring out how do i bring down my current 24kg luggage to the allowable 20kg (it was 30 kg before ok ... i even need to borrow the roomates luggage so that i have a lighter luggage. had to leave behind some things already... isk)

well that's pretty much it. so, nope - no entry for today (well technically - THIS is an entry. whatever). i HOPE that my next entry would be from malaysia...

god i hate uncertainties...