Saturday, October 28, 2006


since this will possibly be my only raya in this country (or at least i hope it would be), i will try to explicitly document what happened to me on 1 syawal 1427.

me and my malaysian colleagues (which consist of my housemate and my manager) have decided to go to this particular mosque that gives sermons in english. we thought that since we'd be wearing our baju melayu to the mosque, i'd be better if we go to a mosque where the 'international community' would be going to so that we won't stand out so much. as prayers would start at 6.45 am, my manager agreed to pick us up at 6.15. and he volunteered to give us wake up call at 5.30.

the night before raya, i went out with my boss' secretary (for the countless times). we went to baskin robbins (which is across the road from my house - how cool is that! :P). she had ice-cream, i had mineral water. i was sick actually (i still am. i think it's intially homesickness that is now translated into ...err bodily sickness. heheh). we had a very long talk and i ended up reaching home at 1.30 am. well at least i was keeping up with my raya routine - i always sleep late the day before raya. but at 5.30 sharp i was up, ready to face the dreadful day :P. by 5.40, there ws still no call from my manager. i got worried. i was afraid that he had overslept. so i called him. no answer. i got stressed (i always do when things don't go according to plan). so i woke my housemate up next. i believe my exact words to him was "eh, dah pukul 5.40 ni. aku try call (my manager's name) tapi dia tak angkat la. dia terlajak kot". and his reply: "tapi (my manager's name) kata dia nak bagi wake-up call pukul 5.30". what kind of response is that? but i decided to let it go and stop the conversation there. it is hard enough to get something remotely smart coming from him when he is wide awake, what more when he is groggy and just woke up from sleep.

after waking up the roomate, i went down to prepare something for me to eat. you know how it is sunat to eat something before u go for semayang raya? back home, i would've feasted on the raya food before going to the masjid. the rendang dinding, the nasi impit, the kuah kacang, the satay... but that morning, i was having spaghetti bolognaise (leftover from the previous night) and milo ais. what a stark difference. luckily, malaysia was celebrating raya a day later so i know that my family was still fasting at that time.

finished eating at about 6.00. went upstairs and saw that the housemate's room was still dark. so i woke him up once again. this time with a bit more attitude.

"weh, ko tak nak gi semayang raya ke?"
"tapi (my manager) cakap dia akan bagi kita wake up call kan?"
"habis tu kalau (my manager) terlajak sampai kul 9, ko pun nak terlajak sekali la?"
"haaa.. ye la ye la." (disgruntled tone)

this is a classic example of my housemate. number 1, he is incapable of thinking outside the box. of the "what if"s. and number 2, when people are trying to help him (like for example, me trying to help him NOT miss semayang raya in case if our manager could not make it on time), he thinks that i am burdening him. like i'm giving him an order that is against his will. like he's doing ME a favour by waking up. god, he can sleep until the end of century for all i care (just keep paying his portion of the rent and i'll be fine).

although my housemate managed to piss me off within the first hour of my eid, i still decided to initiate the mintak maaf ritual with him. mostly because i really don't expect him to initiate it. and being 4 yours younger (although much more matured) than him, i guess it was only fair. plus, it can''t be argued that aku memang banyak dosa dgn dia. melimpah2 dosanya...hahahah. so we did our salam2 and mintak maaf ritual that morning.

anyway, by 6.10, my manager called. he DID oversleep. but he managed to make it to our apartment at 6.30. at that time, we knew that it was too late to go to the english-sermon mosque so we decided to go to the mosque across the road from our apartment. and true enough, we got (almost) everyone staring (one thing about the people here is that they don't seem to feel that staring is rude. or they don't know if ANYTHING is considered rude because they are naturally rude. the first few months that i was here, i got a lot of full body eye scan from people in the lift. they'de be looking at me from top to bottom without blinking. maybe they find it hard to find a fili*ino looking guy in a shirt and tie and carrying a laptop bag in my office building).

after we found our spot (outside the mosque - the mosque was full), i started looking around. i discovered that people don't really dress up for hari raya. it was just like a typical friday prayers. some people were in the white robes, but some others were wearing jeans and t-shirts. it's hard to find people not in their baju melayu in the mosques back in malaysia. no matter how non-conformist a person is, chances are he'd be in his baju melayu on hari raya.

and then there was the takbir. alamak. takbir sini tak feel la. very robotic. i much prefer the takbir back home. but maybe it was a good thing that it was like that. if it was as mendayu2 as the takbir back home.. i may have gotten all emotional there at the mosque compound. it would NOT have been a pretty sight. and then, surprisingly, a lot of people left after performing the prayers and did not wait for the khutbah. and these are the arab-speaking people i'm talking about. many of us who waited for the khutbah are non-ar*bs like me who (especially in my case), has the comprehension of the language of a 2 year-old. not fair.

the other unfair thing is how we (back home) do not have the hug-hug-kiss-kiss ritual like the ar*bs... hehehe. they were a lot of this going on at the mosque after the prayers. ok i won't provide the details of this since this is a raya entry and therefore would be a little bit inappropriate.. but let's just say when i saw at the mosque looked like a scene from musicth*que (when a plu meets and greets another fellow plu).

ok ok ..moving on..

after prayers, we drove off to my manager's house as per plan (my house for the day). my manager told me that the reason why he overslept was because he slept late the night before because he and his family got back home late from the shopping mall to buy some chicken. the problem was, he went to a carrefour that was 45 minutes-drive away from where we live to get the chickens. all because the carrefour near our place was jampacked with people and he couldn't even get into the parking area. i got aggravated when i heard this. but since it's the morning of raya (and i was to spend the whole day with him and his family) i didn't say much. but i just didn't get it. just for your information, carrefours are not the only places in dubai where you can get chicken. you can get chicken ANYWHERE. it's not like he was buying 10 kilos of chicken that requires him to go to the hypermarket to get it. why couldn't he go to someplace nearer? kedai runcit bawah rumah aku pun ada jual ayam. isk...stress stress.

thank god the food (especially the chicken) was good. well i was eating with a blocked nose so i couldn't really tell. good enough i guess. after eating, i dozed off in front off the tv for a while, while watching kung fu hustle (in english!). i didn't know that the movie was so merepek. after that, my boss came with his family. followed by my boss's secretary. i have to say that it still felt festive eveen though we were not in msia. (it was funny because before the actual day, i would imagine myself sitting in a corner - sulking on the first day of raya. i imagined that my boss would ask me why was i so sulky and i would reply to him "because you did not approve my leave la!!" luckily that didn't happen. i wasn't sulking at all.

in the afternoon, upon hearing that the msian embassy in abu dh*bi was having an open house thingy in the evening, we decided to drive up to abu dh*bi. abu dh*bi is about 2 hours' drive away from dub*i. i had not been to abu dh*bi, so i was quite excited. but even with all the excitement, i managed to sleep the most part of the journey (must have been my cough medicine). when i reached the embassy, i saw a piece of kl/msia. so many malaysians! most of them in baju melayu / baju kurung. yang can do pun ada ...hehheheh. and the food was not bad too (except for the satay which was thai-styled. wayyy too chunky and not sweet enough).
i got to know a few people at the embassy. i actually striked up a conversation with this (can do) guy at the buffet line. he's probably 22-23. a bit rempit-ish.. hehehe. but nice. so we talked and he introduced his friends to me. i introduced my colleagues in return. one of his friends is spending raya here because his boss didn't approve his leave either (same story like mine). but the difference is his pregnant wife and 2-year old daughter is back home in kl. i'm still single (promo ke ni? heheheh). i then realise that i shouldn't feel so bad about myself because apparently there are people who are in a worse situation than i am.

anyway, after taking some photos, we left abu dh*bi at around 8 pm. reached home at about 10. i voice-chatted with some of my friends in the uk and went to sleep right after that. and that's how my first day of raya turned out to be. overall verdict: not so bad. better than expected actually.i guess it was an experience that i can share with other people in the future. when you say that you spent the first day of raya at an embassy open house .. it does sound cool, doesn't it. very the expat... hahaha. but i don't plan to do it again next year. next year, i'm going to be BACK for raya - no matter what!!

oh, and i plan to go to egypt during the raya haji break. saper nak ikut? :P

Monday, October 23, 2006


tomorrow is the day that i've been dreading for the past couple of months. my plan for the day - go for semayang raya (which i just found out is at 6.45 am.. help me god) at this masjid that gives sermon in english. me and my colleagues are planning to wear out baju melayu to the masjid tomorrow (matila dapat free spotlight!). after prayers, we'll be heading straight to my colleague's apartment for some raya food. so far i've been told that there will be nasi impit (courtesy of myself..hehehe), kuah kacang and rendang. jadi la tu.... better than nothing kan? i hope my colleague won't decide to play raya songs when we are there.. that's be walking on tightrope (betul ke peribahasa ni). by afternoon, i hope to go back and go online with my family. hope that they'll get the whole webcam thingy sorted out (just like me, my family is technologically inept.. heheh). and at night, i plan to watch the takbir on malaysian tv and whatever rosyam nor movie which would be playing tomorrow night. so that's practically the plan for raya this year (just add some teary-eyed sessions here and there i think).

anyway to all my readers, i wish you guys a very happy hari raya.. and maaf zahir batin. especially for those of you who i have come to know personally, mintak maaf la kalau ada salah dan silap, tersalah kata dan terkasar bahasa... wishing all of you a very blessed eid. and to those not celebrating eid, enjoy the long break!!! :)

p.s: oh btw, this is my 100th entry. sedih kan? nampak sangat takde mood..

Sunday, October 15, 2006


let me tell you what has happened to me TWICE in the past four months. some guy said hi to me on ym after seeing my profile on some website. apparently, he thinks i'm kinda cute (i'm an acquired taste la.. fyi). we chatted. we clicked. unbelievably well. both of us were flirting with each other like nobody's business. i started developing feelings towards the other guy and he seems to be developing some feeling towards me too. before it went any further, i asked the guy whether he is attached with anyone. the guy would tell me that he as broken up with the previous boyfriend and has been single for xx months. thinking that it was ok, i continued communicating with the guy. after some time, i decided to do a stop check on where things are going (mostly because i want to avoid the 'bertepuk sebelah tangan' thing).

the guy would answer that he has feelings for me. that any guy would be lucky to have me. but he feels that we should just remain close friends at the moment. some (presumably bogus) reasons were given. after much interrogating, he finally admitted that his boyfriend wants to get back together. and now he's torn. he doesn't know what to do. i'm so far away... and the old boyfriend is someone familiar. he feels hopeless. suddenly he is the victim in this whole situation.
"but whatever it is, i hope we can remain close friends. i really enjoy your company. and believe me, i do have feelings for you."

loosely translated: i think you are ok... and i would want to have you as a back-up just in case things don't work out again between me and my boyfriend. you know.. the get-back-together -again thing? so until i know for sure, i'm just going to flirt with you - not too much until i'm having to commit to anything, but not too little until you lose interest in me.


for a guy he doesn't really get the chance to be in touch with other plu's back home. being crushed twice in four months is one time too many. not only it is devastating, it is EMBARRASSING. it's embarrassing how i let myself get into the same mess again this quick. i mean, what is wrong with me? why do i seem to attract these kind of people anyway? do i have a "I'M GULLIBLE AND YOU CAN LIE TO ME ALL YOU WANT CAUSE I WILL BELIEVE EVERYTHING THAT YOU SAY" across my forehead? and why do people have to lie? is it like a very plu thing to do? or is it the IN thing to do right now? whatever it is - i think it's high time for me to swallow the fact that:


i didn't want to be someone who is skeptical about everything. who needs to take everything people say with a pinch of salt. i didn't want to be like my mum (who thinks bad about everyone until she is proven wrong). i want to be someone who thinks good about everyone until proven wrong. but to uphold this principle is taking a toll on me. especially in the relationship department. plu relationship department. i have never been felt betrayed in my previous (not stimulating) heterosexual relationship. but i guess mum knows best.

maybe it has something to do with the fact that i don't lie. i don't lie because i'm a bad liar. and also because it's not a very good thing to do. especially if it's for your own interest one of the miss world 2006 contestants said that her motto is "don't do things to people which you don't like them to do to you." i think this is my motto too. . . i mean, of course being a closeted plu is all about lying. but it's not like i have an option. when there is an option, i would try not to lie. because i think honesty pays. but maybe it's time for me to do some serious re-evaluation of my whole "belief" system.

it is sad when your world forces you to let go of your good qualities. to be less of a person. it is sad that in order to survive, you need to sacrifice what you believe in. i'm an idealistic - i know. but i think it won't be long before i put that title to rest. it's the same thing about my (previous) character as a punctual person. i've put that to rest too. after being the ONLY person who arrives on time for the umpteenth time, i've decided to put a stop to it. now, there is one less punctual person in this world, and one more tardy person. and pretty soon, there'll be one less honest person in this world too..

aren't you ashamed of yourself, world?

Monday, October 09, 2006


*confetti everywhere* :p

it has been exactly one year since i started this blog. ONE YEAR! (woohoo!!) a lot has happened in the past one year for me. the past 12 months have been the most life-changing to say the least. and i am really glad that i've decided to start my own blog a year ago.

i was inspired to start my own blog when i stumbled upon this (now-defunct) plu-themed (:P) blog of this one 'very the kerek' guy (who now happens to be a very close friend of mine. he's my myspace account administrator... my mobile phone service connector ..dan macam2 lagi... hehehe. dulu dia rajin komen kat sini...tapi skarang dia dah eksyen.. :P). this was around july 2005 - 2 months after i started my new job in a very very very well known company (hehehe).i thought that the idea of documenting one's thoughts, trials and tribulations of being a plu (and other things) to the world in anonymity was quite appealing. and since the (then) new job was far less demanding than my previous job (which means i have a lot of free time in my hand), i decided to try it out.

when i started aiskrempotong-ism, the idea was just to document my thoughts and what was happening in my life. kind of like my own diary (that's why i decided in the beginning not to post any photos. to get the 'diary' feel). i realised that i'm not really good at remembering events which took place in the past (i think i'm much better at remembering facts instead). this is evident whenever i hang out with my high school friends. they'd be reminiscing memories of high school and some events or incidents that took place when we were there. but i can't seem to remember a few of them (A LOT of them actually).furthermore, it felt like the perfect time to start my own blog as it was also the time when i started coming face to face with my ...err.. sexual preference and exploring such relationships. so i thought i could document my thoughts on that as well. however this has been kept at a minimum due to .. emm.. lack of activity (and my exceptionally big mouth - if you know what i mean). and lastly, i just want to write to improve (or rather regain) my proficiency in english. i was once a rather competent speaker and writer in school. but it all stopped after high school. LOCAL UNI happened. everything deteriorated after that.

anyway, 365 days and 97 posts later (an average of 1 post every 3.76 days), my blog has helped me in more ways than i realised it could in the beginning. it becomes a therapeutic exercise when i'm stressed about something (or someone). it has provided me with an apportunity to get acquainted with some other bloggers out there (and some non-bloggers as well). some of them are now my ym buddy.. a few of them has become real-life friends. it has NOT managed to get me a boyfriend though (sempat lagi nak publicise my 'single' status kan?:P)

however, having my own plu blog has also given me some unfavourable consequences as well. first of all.. dosa bertambah (yeah, i know. i criticise people a lot in my blog. can't help it la.. :P). and secondly, it has (on several occasions) given me nightmares. yup, nightmares of people i know finding out about my blog. i'm telling you - it's no fun ok? so far, i've dreamt that these people have discovered my blog:

1) my 2nd sister
2) my elder brother (mommy's boy) <----- see what i mean?
3) my housemate
4) my ex-girlfriend's plu friend
5) one of my male coursemates in uni

and a couple of months ago, someone i know DID find out about this. luckily, she is one of the coolest cats i know. i may not be as lucky the next time. and there have been countless occasions when i'm talking to someone i know, and they say something that may suggest that they have discovered my blog. i know it's just me being paranoid, but i do get a bit more weary nowadays. but i guess it's all about taking risks. weighing the risks and the rewards involved. i did my weighing - and i decided to continue blogging. well, at least for now.

as you guys know, i'm kinda in a lonely place right now.. sure things are looking better at the moment, but sometimes it does feel a little lonely inside. so when i have people commenting on my blog and responding to what i've written, it really does mean something to me. and for that, i would like to take this chance to thank you guys, u guys may not know how some of your words have managed to give some impact to me. and it's really a wonder how somenow you don't even know in real life an give such an effect on you (God is great, kan?)

i am not gonna lie. i have been constantly checking my webstats. the main reason is of course to get an indication of how many people are actually reading the stuff that i write (which btw is not that many). i don't quite know why do i need this indication for, but it's just fun to look at the graphs and all the cool information that they can give me (for free pulak tu). but secondly, i would just get some information of my readers (especially the companies that they work for) particularly the silent ones. and it's quite amazing how i am actually linked to some of you guys (based on your company server name - if that's what u call it). how amazing? let's see..

  • ONE of you are working in the company where i worked for 2 years (but really really hope that u dont know who i am).
  • TWO of you are working in a company where i have once audited.
  • and ONE of you is working in my least favourite company in the world (i got called for your company's 'assessment day' TWICE but got rejected. nothing personal though - i just don't like your company. but i'm sure u are a nice guy.. hehehe).

well the rest of you, the server just says TMNet Telekom Malaysia.. so not much info there. once again, to everyone who think what i write is worthy enough of your time to read - thank you. i do write for myself (i think) but it sure doesn't hurt when you know other people take some interest in it too. it has been a great first year for aiskrempotong-ism and i hope this will continue on. but before i leave, i would like to clear some misconception about the name of this blog:

AISKREM POTONG is a type of food. it is a type of ice cream which i really enjoyed as a kid. it used to cost 20 sen and it was very yummy. a chinese uncle in a motorcycle used to ride around my housing area to sell aiskrem potong. he had this cute bell which he would ring will riding his bike. my favourite is the jagung flavour. in fact i would only have the jagung flavour. i don't like kacang merah. the reason why i chose this name is because i thought it sounded cute, approachable (like me :P) and easy to remember. it does NOT refer to a particular private part or genitalia of a certain sex. and it does NOT make reference to any particular act of sex which involves licking ... (i can't finish the sentence. tak sanggup). when i chose the nickname, it did NOT occur to me that it could be miscontrued in any other way than i intended it to be. i swear. i couldn't believe that i didn't realise it then. which, by the way, could not mean either one of this two - i'm too baik or i'm too naive. i think it's the latter... syukran jazeelan everyone!

p.s: i realised that i am late by a few minutes and it has actually passed the anniversary date. sorry about that. i have been rather pre-occupied with.. err.. someone. eheh.

Friday, October 06, 2006


no - i'm not a fan of britney spears (or madonna for that matter .. plu 'murtad'.. hehehe). it's just that a few nights ago, i decided to go face the music (literally). after days of intentional delay, i decided to go one-on-one with the lagu raya i dowloaded from the net. here is the review of the match:


contender: Sudirman - Dari Jauh Kupohon Maaf.mp3
size: 3,620,864 bytes
duration: 0:03:46

dengar intro pun dah start sebak dah. by the second verse, i had to take off my glasses and wipe my tears (alamak pecah lubang). and tears kept rolling down my cheeks. EVERY SINGLE LINE of the song stabbed me in the heart (well maybe except for the "terbayang suasana permai desa" part. my house back home faces a golf course. and i don't have a kampung. both my parents were born in ip*h. so feeling kurang sket la part tu). and it was worsened by the fact that it was sudirman who sang the song (it was sad how his life ended). at the end of the song, hingus dah meleleh2 dah (hahaha..gross eh?).

verdict: lagu raya- 1, aiskrem potong- 0


contender: Aishah - Pulanglah.mp3
size: 4,263,936 bytes
duration: 0:04:26

aishah has a very soulful voice. it would've been easy to surrender to this song. but since the words of the song is really the OPPOSITE of what i'm experiencing right now. my emotions were left unscathed. and i have the images of the cheesy (and low-quality) music video (where she sings by the window of a kampung house and in the end her husband / scandal arrives home with a gleeful smile) the whole time. that definitely helped. tak sedih pun. VICTORY!

verdict: lagu raya- 1 aiskrem potong- 1


contender: Raihan,_Nowseeheart,_Rem_Ajai_-_Lebaran_Ini.mp3
size: 3,739,648 bytes
duration: 0:04:26

a very nice and soothing sound. it started emotional enough. but i was able to distract myself by fixating the image of that extremely cute rem in my head (taste taste! hehehe). and plus, i suddenly remembered that this is a very vocally challenging song (it requires u to sing half of the chorus in one breath). feeling of to the challenge, i sang along. nice song... actaully leaves you with fuzzy feeling. so nope, i did not concede defeat :)

final verdict: lagu raya- 1, aiskrem potong-2

WINNER : aiskrem potong (yay!)

actually, i have another lagu raya that i have downloaded. the one from mamat. tak berani go up againt that song. gerenti kalah punya. dengar kat malaysia pun boleh meleleh air mata ... apa lagi kat sini :P

Monday, October 02, 2006


kareem means noble, distinguish, generous."ramadhan kareem" is a phrase used to wish someone a good and hopefully rewarding ramadhan.

10 days into the holy month, i'm starting to get used to ramadhan here. at first, i thought that i would be miserable, not being able to do the usual things that i used to do back home. but i realised that it has not been that bad. i mean, i still miss the pasar ramadhan back home (they don't have anything like that here. in fact all food outlets are closed until maghrib. but they will open from maghrib until about 1.30 a.m. oh, and the shopping malls observe similar operating hours too.). but on the bright side, due to the lack of good malaysian food, i have been able to prevent myself from eating a lot. and the scale has consistently delivered me quite good news in the past few days :)

on a normal day, my berbuka meal would consist of buah kurma, my milo ais (3-in-1 from malaysia) and some self-cooked food. there were days when i only had slices of bread with chicken nuggets or chicken sheesh tawook (some boneless chicken grill thingy that you can buy frozen). yesterday, i actually made rendang daging using the perencah rendang adabi that i bought 8 months ago (there were some santan involved.. so i was a bit hesitant to try it out because it looked complicated. but it turned out ok. it actually TASTED and LOOKED like rendang ..yay!). of course, there were also days where i ate out.. so far i had japanese, mexican and thai for my berbuka. and i just realised that japanese food is super duper expensive here! an average looking california roll costs around rm22. kalau kat carrefour midvalley dah boleh beli 10. i guess it wil be a long time before i'll have japanese food again i guess. but whenever i have a decent meal for berbuka (they call it iftar here) , i tend to not eat anything for sahur (they call it sohuur here). and this routine has worked out ok for me so far.

for some reason, i have been going out a lot in the past few days. all by invitation (no.. my circle of friends here has not really been expanding.. but i guess we just got closer nowadays, nd my friends has started to realise that i make a good company.. :P). and because of that, i have been missing some nights of terawih. but i like terawih here more than back home. maybe it's mostly because of the convenience. my apartment is 90-seconds walk away from the mosque and that is just convenient. and all the masjids here are air conditioned. so comfy. i remember back in malaysia if we wanted to go to an air conditioned masjid we would go to masjid wilayah for our terawih. but finding a good parking spot there would be a nightmare. i can safely say that my apartment here is even closer to the masjid than some of the parking spots we landed on back in masjid wilayah... heheh. and sine the imam is an arab, i just find his bacaan more ...sedap. more character. with more emotions (seriously). and this is good. but of course, my journey to the masjid (or even when i'm inside the masjid) will not be complete without having a few pairs of eyes stare at me (i think they are bewildered at a sight of a filipin*-looking guy entering the masjid). but i don't mind. because i do my share of staring at other people in the masjid too (if you know what i mean.. ).

and what is ramadhan without the usual routine of shopping, splurging and over-spending? initially, i was afraid that i couldn't continue this routine of mine here because there won't be any motivation for me to buy new clothes (i've counted and confirmed that i will visit a maximum of 3 houses during hari raya. don't think that i'll need new clothes for raya this time around). but fortunatelly, i was mistaken. the ramadhan sale here is so crazy that you don't even need a reason to buy new clothes. the sale was a VALID ENOUGH enough reason to buy new clothes.. heheh. and i also realised that i can shop for other things apart from new clothes. so, as an effort to withhold the tradition, i decided to splurge on some designer hair care products :). and now, i have fabulous rehydrated, stong, elastic hair! (at least that's what it says on the bottle :P)

oh yeah, and i bought a pair of dumbells too. they're yellow. but as always, it's taking me some time to face my fears and actually start using them. same case like my (also yellow) pair of running shoes. it's like a new pet, i think. i need to give it space. and i need to bond with it first. and not rush into things. or maybe i'm just plain lazy (which i think is the case).

that pretty much sums up my ramadhan here so far. in a nutshell, it's not as bad as i expected them to be. and what a relief that is. but there's another hurdle - raya. can't believe that i actually need to brace myself for raya this time. hope things won't be as bad as i think it would be. i have actually downloaded some raya mp3's from the internet. but i haven't had the courage to play them yet. takut sebak. camana tu?