Wednesday, November 30, 2005


i never thought that i would ever be pepper-sprayed by a girl in my life. this could be because girls keep pepper sprays in their handbag as a weapon against bad guys - snatch thieves, rapists , sex predators. since i do not fall into any of the categories (well, let’s just ignore the sex predator bit to avoid complications ;P) i never thought much about the effects that a pepper spray can give you. but yesterday, i was pepper-sprayed. and OMG IT HURTS OK?

i was actually walking with my colleague (a.k.a the girl with a pepper spray in her handbag) to our respective cars after work. it was around 8 pm and it was quite dark at the parking area. so i decided to walk her to her car before i go to mine. she said "aiyah.. no need's ok one... i got pepper spray. eh but i don't think it's working anymore lah". a split-second after that, she took the pepper spray out of her handbag and started spraying, to demonstrate the unworkable condition of her pepper spray. nothing came out at first. but after her third attempt, tiny sprinkles of liquid pepper (pun not intended) spurted out. “eh actually it’s working la!” she half-squealed, to her delight. but to my horror, i felt tiny sprinkles of liquid hit my forehead and eyelid. “err… i think u just sprayed me lah”. “oh no, eh sorry sorry… didn’t realize that the spray was pointed at you” (this came from a girl who scored like straight A’s in her SPM. i guess even smart people have their stupid moments... too bad i was there with her when the moment arrived) “does it hurt?” she asked. at that point it didn’t hurt at all “no la... it’s ok. bye!” so she went off. but as soon as her car zoomed off, i started having some stinging sensation on my forehead and my eyelid. by the time i got to my car, it got worse. i was already in my car ready to head home when it started burning even more. it felt like you accidentally bit a cili api, but instead of your tongue feeling burned it’s your face.. luckily there was a mosque about 300 metres from where i was parked. so i quickly drove to the mosque. it was the most agonizing 300-metre drive of my life! i rushed to the ablution area and frantically washed my face with water. phew...

morale of the story:
1.if you want to check and see if a spray can / container is still working, don’t point it someone else’s face (or even your own face for that matter) when you are testing it
2.if you are thinking of becoming a rapist/snatch thief/sex predator – don’t. it’s way too risky that it’s not even worth it
3. being pepper-sprayed is not fun

this community service message is brought to you by ;)


i am a TERRIBLE liar. that’s what i tell people all the time. and it’s true. i would always try to avoid having to lie at any situation because it’s just too much work to remember what you have lied about in order to be consistent with what you say in the future. plus, in most circumstances, it is not nice to lie to people (i guess this goes without saying).

but if there is something that i can lie about, it would be lying about my 'dream girl'. i don’t HAVE a dream girl. but having been single for the most part of my life, i have been asked this question COUNTLESS times. i don’t quite know why a lot of people ask me this question about my dream girl. and most of the time it would be my female friends. are they trying to be my dream girl? i doubt it. maybe they are just curious… i don’t know.

i have been asked this question yet again recently. twice. first, it was my ex-colleague whom i am very fond of. then, it was one of my uni mates whom i am really close with. i called them up just to catch up on things (out of boredom actually) and the question came:

girl friend: so are you with someone now?
me: no, not really
girl friend: isk, you nih… you cari perempuan macam mana nih?
me: macam you kot… tapi yang cun lagi sikit la… kekekek
girl friend: *@#^%&

my attempt to drop the topic by responding sarcastically proved to be futile. they insisted that i answer them. so i had to give them the usual answer:

what i look for in a girl:
1. someone who is witty
2. someone with an incredible sense of humour
3. someone who i can admire
4. someone who i am comfortable with
5. someone who speaks decent English

after giving them the 101 on my idea of a dream girl, i would continue with my usual ramblings on how difficult it is to find someone with these criteria. how anyone who i even remotely fancy is either no longer available or simply unattainable. they in turn would advise me not to be so choosy and at the same time tell me to wait as my time will come. at this cue, i would ask them to recommend one of their friends to me. and they would reply by saying that they don’t have anyone whom they think would be suitable for me (why do they keep saying this? am i that hideous? sigh..)

anyway, i have gone through this ‘act’ so many times that i think i can even fool myself with my story. god knows how many gazillion times had I been forced to tell this story. but what can i do? a discreet PLU’s gotta do what a discreet PLU’s gotta do, right? i do feel sorry for having to do this. but i think it is best for me and also for the other party that i do not reveal the truth.

previously, i have never pondered about the idea of a dream guy. i did not want to encourage myself into thinking about these things. but since opening up (if you can call it that), i have been thinking about it a lot. what do i look for in a guy? is it the same as my characteristics of my supposed “dream girl”? for the most part, i think it is. but there are other things that i look for. being a not-so-consenting PLU (if you know what i mean by this) makes it way more complicated. for example, he must be ready to take things very slowly. and there are also some other ‘special requirements’ that i have. perhaps i have a bit too many of these requirements that it would seem surreal if such person exists. basically, i have an idea of what my dream guy is like, but i just don’t know whether he exists. but what worries me more is that if i find him, would i fit HIS description of HIS “dream guy”? very doubtful. then, why bother dreaming about a dream guy in the first place?

Thursday, November 24, 2005


received another forwarded e-mail from a friend on horoscopes (a clear indication that i am not the ONLY one who has been slacking away in his job.. phew!!). you know, these zodiac thingies are extremely useful for those people who keep screaming "define me! define me!" throughout their life (me being one of those people). i don't know... sometimes i feel like i know myself very well... but sometimes i don't feel like i do. but i know myself well enough to know that sometimes i feel like i know myself very well and sometimes i don't (hehehe..). nonetheless, i still feel the need to know what other people think about me (which is why i've been begging testimonials from friends on friendster shamelessly and persistently). i guess it's just a good check and balance mechanism.. so you don't become too full of yourself for no valid reason. but what do you do when your friends prefer to talk about crap in your testimonial? you look for horoscopes to define you. that's what you do!


"You are blessed with an eye for detail that many would love to possess."

You as a man:
 You live life almost entirely on a practical (yup, i am practical), material level, and you have little use for the abstractions of storybook romance. Your idea of love is synonymous with duty.Sugary romance is not quite your style.
 Self-discipline is part of your nature (but not applied in ALL aspects of life). Once you make up your mind, you move on, regardless of what will result(this is sooo true). You place great emphasis on intellect (again true) and train your children (children? eheh...) rigidly in matters of ethics, courtesy and good citizenship (i guess if i had any i would emphasise these things to my children)
 You are uncomfortable with physical expressions of love (also true). You need to become more generous with those hugs and kisses (good advice.. now i just need someone to practice this with... ;P)). There's also a tendency to be too critical, to expect too much too soon and to be too strict (another good advice - i'll keep that in mind).

Your love sign is Capricorn (calling all capricorns out there ;P)
 A romance with you is a roller-coaster ride of excellent taste (eh-hem!), since you love things being in order. You also wait and watch where romance is concerned, perhaps
because being in love for you means falling hard. Being a perfectionist, you also aim
to please, and your beloved is one happy individual (uh-oh, the secret's out i guess ;p)

You in Relationships
 Your easygoing nature makes you a reliable and steady sort. Your devotion also signals that you will work very hard to take any relationship far. You strive for the perfect relationship. You feel truly rewarded when the one you love is willing to give you time in the relationship. You are independent, and may seem cold on the outside, but your potent charms (POTENT charms ok!) will merit a truly deserving partner (stop spilling the beans, will you!!)

One must Know the rules when dealing with Virgos
What you should do:
 Clean the inside of your nails, and tuck every hair in place. The Virgo is a perfectionist, and loves cleanliness (err... this might be a little over the top.. i don't check the inside of my date's nails ok... well, not until the 3rd date at least... hehehe)
 The Virgo attention to detail will rattle you, but be patient. You will be rewarded with quality love in return (not just any love ok? QUALITY, sirim-approved, iso-certified love... kekekek)
 Try and keep pace with the Virgo wit and intellectual abilities (an arduous task indeed... kekekek). The Virgo is not patient with immaturity (again, SO true!)
 Wait for the magic to happen. The Virgo trust is not for all and sundry. Once you have earned, you can be assured of security and undivided attention (hmm.. i tend to disagree a bit here... i think i trust people too easily actually - sebab tu selalu kena tipu)

What you should not do:
 Don't sit back while your Virgo partner is slaving away. The Virgo appreciates perfection, and believes everyone has to be self-reliant (you should be helpful to everyone actually, not just virgoans)
 If you expect the Virgo to be at your beck and call at all times, forget it. Virgo is the sign of service, always eager to lend a helping hand ('non-legal' service not included)
 Don't underestimate the passion of a Virgo. Perfectionism carries over into every aspect of their life, including relationships (seriously, what is there NOT to like about me? kekekke)
 Go easy on the criticism. The Virgo likes to think he is perfect, and would rectify his own mistakes. Point out an error, and watch them sulk (this sounds like a Furby instruction manual.. but i guess it is true...)
 Don't get lax with your cooking. The Virgo likes good, healthy food, and every morsel goes under the microscope (ok.. this is not true... i don't cook, so i don't think that it is fair to have such high expectations of my partner)

Beautiful You
 You probably must be tired of hearing how beautiful you look (hahaha big joke... this is TOTALLY not applicable). You wonder if something fishy is going on. Relax, it is just your diligent beauty regimen (more like NON-EXISTENT beauty regimen) doing the trick (really? you don't say... ;p). Your attention to detail is what keeps you looking smashing (smashing or smashed?). One look at your cabinet, and you have a product for every feature there is! Good brands would probably name you customer of the year! You are brand loyal (this is true though) , and this is secret of your appearance! Quality is your watchword, and you know exactly what you want.


Now, if there are 2 reasons why there are so many people in this world still single, it's because:

1. they are virgoans who can't seem to find someone who has what it takes to be with them
2. they are non-virgoans who still can't get over a crush on a virgoan

kekekekekek..... i have a feeling that i'm gonna get clobbered with my last statement there... but who cares? ;P

p.s : sorry if the e-mail excerpt was a little bit hard to read (especially with my comments inserted all over the place). actually, i wanted to italicised those comments - i just don't know how to! is 'blogging for dummies' out yet? ;P

Tuesday, November 22, 2005


while i was taking a break from my hectic routine of research and report-writing (hahaha) i decided to google some names... names of hunky guys (of course)... names of my family members... and my own name. the last time i googled my own name, i few things came out... but it all referred to me (which was what i expected because i think my name is a little bit unique, especially the non-conventional way of spelling). but this time around, something else surfaced. apparently, there is someone else in this world (or at least this country) whose name is exactly like mine! cess!!! and now, i don't feel that special anymore :(... damn!

i guess i can take pride of the fact that this guy is 4 years younger than i am, which means that i got my name first before he did. so, in a way, he's merely a follower, a copycat :P anyway to this guy - don't tarnish the good name. i surely hope that u won't appear in the newspaper headline one of these days for raping or (even worse) embezzlement of funds for the hardcore poor. eheh...

i guess it's true what they say - ignorance is bliss. but it's ok - i'm still special in many other ways... :)

Monday, November 21, 2005


watched goblet of fire on sunday. it was ok... too bad the cute guy had to die… why oh why! (of course if i had read the book, i would’ve known about it much sooner and could’ve spared myself from this utter disappointment!)hmm... maybe i should take up reading again...


had my ‘confirmation’ interview with my manager last friday evening. it went well. surprisingly, my manager was quite happy with my performance thus far (woohoo!!) although at my current productivity level, i think i am only utilizing about 30% of my actual capabilities. why? because the other 70% of my time in the office is currently spent on personal matters (READ: PLU related matters). of course I feel guilty… but i just think that somehow i owe it to myself to explore this part of me that i have consciously neglected for so long. nonetheless, i plan to devote more of my time in the office to do actual work (well, if my new office provides my with little privacy … i don’t think i have much choice do i?). but for now, i’m just going to celebrate my new status as a CONFIRMED staff of my company and finally enjoy my 28-days-per-year annual leave (quite a lot isn’t it? i know ;p ).

after the meeting ended i was feeling quite happy and was in the mood for a little celebration. maybe a good dinner with a close friend. so i started calling one friend after another (PLU and non-PLU) asking them to join me for dinner… but everyone i called seemed to already have other plans. there i was, in my car at my office parking lot, ready for a fun night out of celebration… without anyone to celebrate it with. i must have dialed at least 10 numbers but no one was available. it felt a little bit sad… i mean i’m not desperately looking for a boyfriend or something but it’s good to have someone special whom you know you can count on and can be there for you. i used to be fine without a special someone… there was a lot of single, unattached girl and guy friends who i could hang but with. however, lately it seems that more and more of my friends are becoming less and less available to spend time with me. many of my female friends are either married or engaged (so asking one of them to hang out with me is no longer appropriate) and many of my guy friends (the few that i am comfortable enough to go out one-on-one) now have girlfriends (or married). one thing that’s CONFIRMED … the situation will only get worse in the coming years (i have already received 4 wedding invitations for this month alone!)… and i am a little bit worried. perhaps it is time that i start looking for that special someone more seriously… sigh.

Friday, November 18, 2005


yesterday’s headline:



Datuk Dr Abdul Aziz Muhamad received five years’ jail today for criminal breach of trust and cheating committed while he was Rural Development Ministry secretary-general in 1999 — a sentence the judge said was a deterrent but mitigated by other factors including the fact that he was cancer-stricken.”

The punishment, handed out by the Sessions Court which had on Friday found him guilty of diverting RM11 million from funds earmarked for the hardcore poor, makes him the most senior civil servant in recent years to be convicted and jailed.

i remember hearing about this case 5 years ago. and i remember getting extremely furious when i first heard about it. sure, CBT happens all the time… but this particular case involved money for a projek pembangunan rakyat termiskin! i mean, how ruthless can a person be? i wouldn’t have cared so much if they embezzled some money that was going to be used for military ke… jambatan ke… (although it would still be wrong), but this is something that was meant for the hardcore poor… what was the guy thinking? you know how before you do something that you know isn’t very right, you would try to justify your action to yourself? i would really like to know what he said to himself to justify his action before he decided to take a few million dollars from the hardcore poor. could it be… “ala.. sec-gen ministry lain songlap 50 mil, aku sebab kesian la songlap 11 mil je... ok la ni…” . gee, how thoughtful of you datuk... i’m sure all the hardcore poor families in malaysia are eternally grateful for your kind consideration…

what makes it worse is that, this person is of my race… the race that is (by stereotype) supposed to be more gentle, more sopan-santun, more compassionate, more gracious, more chivalrous, more religious even. we always argue that the reason why other races are more successful economically because they don’t care about the source where the money comes from.. tak payah kira halal ke haram… as long as it is money. but i can’t help being a bit skeptical here – how many of these ‘unethical businessmen’ would embezzle money that they know was going to be used to help the hardcore poor? perhaps my expectation of these ‘unethical businessmen’ is quite high but i don’t think a lot of them would do what this guy did…

when these things happen, it really makes me wonder what kind of people do we have running our ministries and government. it is an open secret that there is corruption everywhere, but at least i had thought that somehow these people would have the basic humanity and compassion that a normal person would have. i guess i was terribly mistaken…

Thursday, November 17, 2005


i don't usually care much about forwarded e-mails, but this is quite cute and worth sharing (oh btw, i did some editing... some of them are not really funny - they don't deserve to be in my blog ;P):


If you love someone,
Set her free...
If she comes back, she's yours,
If she doesn't, she never was....



If you love someone,
Set her free ...
If she ever comes back, she's yours,
If she doesn't, as expected, she never was


If you love someone,
Set her free ...
Don't worry, she will come back.


If you love someone,
Set her free ...
If she ever comes back, ask her why.


If you love someone,
Set her free ...
If she doesn't come back within some time
forget her.

Animal-Rights Activist:

If you love someone,
Set her free,
In fact, all living creatures deserve to be free!!


If you love someone,
Set her free,
Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the Second
Amendment of the Matrimonial Freedom Act
clearly states that...

Bill Gates:

If you love someone,
Set her free,
If she comes back,
I think we can charge her for re-installation fees
but tell her that she's also going to get an upgrade.


If you love someone,
Set her free,
She'll evolve.


If you love someone,
Set her free,
If she loves you,
the probability of her coming back is high
If she doesn't, your relation was improbable anyway.

HR specialist:

If you love someone
set her free by
Offering her VSS and other benefits
Then outsource her.

Marketing Specialist:

If you love someone
set her free
If she comes back she has brand loyalty
If she doesn't, reposition the brand in new market

and to end it, MY new version of the original quote..


If you love someone
What are the chances that he would love you back?
Tak yah mimpi la...
Do yourself a favour and stop thinking about him

typical me... ;P

Wednesday, November 16, 2005


i seem to have developed a new routine lately… every night, when i’m alone in my apartment (sigh…), i would listen to the radio. not just any station, but ERA. doesn’t sound like something a 25-year-old PLU living in KL in the year 2005 would do right? i think so too…

why do i listen to ERA anyway? well partly it has to be the songs that they play. i listen to mostly malay songs and since they play an OK selection of the latest malay songs… i usually tune in to the station (although this means that i have to bear the low-quality radio commercials that are on three-quarter of the time… i’ll talk about this later) but the other reason why i’ve been tuning to ERA at night is farah fauzana (yeap, that’s right). i like her A LOT. i don’t really have a lot of respect for local malay deejays... but she is one of a kind (remember the time when deejays used to say “saudara.. jam sekarang menunjukkan pukul xx pagi/malam “ every 15 minutes… adoi.. teringin nak jadi jam dinding ke diorang nih?). she is EXTREMELY funny, witty, playful and energetic. i actually laugh out loud at some of her jokes. farah fauzana, if you’re reading this (but seriously, what are the chances? ;P) thank you for keeping me company for the past few nights… (hmm that sounds a bit pathetic doesn't it?) and i hope you’ll win the DJ Wanita Paling Popular Award in next year’s Anugerah Bintang Popular instead of that not-fit-at-all-to-have-her-own-talk-show linda onn. oh yeah, and to linda onn… just stick to the radio… it’s a torture watching your talk show on astro ria. INTELLIGENT questions please…

oh yeah i had wanted to write something about the local radio commercials. well, in general – they suck. they suck so bad that i consider them a national embarrassment. basically a typical malay radio commercial (on ERA at least) would have one (or more) of the following features:

1. a jingle that is so bad… they give you goosebumps (example: marilah pergi … hari hari!! - oh and it doesn't help that that tone-deaf linda onn is the one who sings it)
2. a conversation that involves a little girl and another person (the ‘little girl’ is actually a 30-year-old desperately trying to sound like a 10-year-old)
3. a conversation that ends with 2-3 people ending their conversation laughing in perfect synchronization (can get pretty eerie at times)
4. a storyline that hardly makes sense (example: a food stall owner asking his employee to check out his competitor’s stall which seemed to receive a lot more customers. his employee checks the place out and tell him that the reason why the other stall is more popular is because it has radio ERA on… hello, kedai tepi jalan semua dah pasang astro ok? setakat radio tu apalah sgt… what’s worse is that the commercial was trying to point out how advertising with radio ERA can help your business grow. what’s the correlation here?)
5. a conversation that uses one (or more) of the deejays as the voice talent (i just think that it’s plain weird OK)

sometimes i feel like my ears would bleed when i listen to some of the commercials… (wah dramatic nya.. ;P)

Monday, November 14, 2005


an ex-housemate of mine came to visit yesterday. we were housemates for more than 2 years before i moved to the place where i am staying currently. he was the only self-confessed PLU friend that i know back then.

for some reasons he had always been open about his PLU activities to me when we were housemates. he was not like this to our other roommates. with me, he used to confide a lot of things... the guy he was dating … his relationship problems. of course, i was a little worried. people have said that each PLU is equipped with a gaydar that is able to identify a fellow PLU in a matter of seconds (but somehow i think mine isn’t working so well… where do you send it for repairing anyway?). was he trying to make me confess by generously sharing information about his activities? or is it just because he thinks i’m a very good listener (which i think i am… eheh). after doing a lot of thinking, i’ve concluded that it was probably due to the latter. because, although he is a good friend, he is also a gullible friend. an EXTREMELY gullible friend. we were watching Flava on Channel V last night and there was a Destiny’s Child special. There was a segment when they flashed out all of DC’s group members and when Beyonce’s name came out, he remarked “laa… Beyonce Knowles tu Destiny’s Child ke? aku tak tau pun...” gullible? I think so… well, maybe because the fact Beyonce Knowles is not a GUY, made her very unappealing to him… but still… i think even my 8-year-old niece is aware of that fact.

anyway, we spent the most of yesterday together (with the exception of some parts of the evening, when an UNINVITED guest decided to join us for a movie - jangan marah sizzlingmee ;P ) but throughout the time when we were together (not in a romantic way.. just together), i felt tempted to come clean… a couple of times. i don’t know why… maybe it’s guilt. i mean this is one person i know who trust me enough to tell me things that are very personal to him, but i am still not able to do the same to him. it could also be because i have told other PLUs that i have barely known that i am one. therefore i think telling him (someone who ishared a house with for more than 2 years) is almost necessary. i somehow feel that it is his RIGHT to know…

but in the end, i decided not to tell… at least not for now. there is always a risk involved – the risk of pecah lobang. as dear he is a friend to me, i’m just afraid that one not-so-fine day, it could just slip his mouth. and since we have a few mutual friends, i think that is one risk that i should avoid at the moment. but I still feel that he deserves to know… i guess we’ll see how things go…

my brother is sitting for his SPM starting from tomorrow… called him to give some last minute advice… that went something like this “good luck esok… buat betul-betul… baca soalan betul-betul sebelum jawab”. i guess that was adequate. i don’t know if anything i said would register in his mind anyway… you know how it was like when you were a student… all the advice given to you sound the same. and you don’t really care. you just want to get it done and over with. well, to my brother, good luck facing the most terrifying weeks of your life (it’s ironic that i’m wishing him something here when at the same time i wish for the love of god that he would never come across this blog… heheh)

Thursday, November 10, 2005


when your weighing scale still points at the same number even after you spend a week of raya eating like a p**... eheh

well... all good things must come to an end... i'm back at work today after a good 15-day break... and work is steadily piling up... halp halp halp

Monday, November 07, 2005


managed to catch siti nurhaliza’s concert at the royal albert hall on astro yesterday. i have made it a point to catch it on tv because although the concert is available on vcd, i can’t buy it because i have made a public statement that goes something like this – “mati hidup balik pun aku takkan beli album siti nurhaliza! ”… eheh.

you must be wondering – if i don’t like siti that much, why bother watching the concert? well, first and foremost that statement was made 4 years ago (i was still in uni at that time). also, at that time, siti nurhaliza really did suck. and I was very adamant and clear about my opinion of siti nurhaliza then. most of my friends knew about this, but very few agreed with me. now, i just don’t go around hating people for no particular reason.. but i thought that she sucked because:

1. she lacks personality – OK, maybe this is asking too much from a local artiste, cos most of them either have no personality or bad personality. but to be bestowed the title “penyanyi no. 1 negara”, i have certain expectations that needs to be met by the title holder. i LOATHE it when an artiste answers a question like she picked the answer from a bm textbook. macam pramugari punya jawapan – very politically correct, very automated. another good example if this species would be that akma from af3. sebijik macam siti.

2. she does not make full use of her influence in the local music industry to improve the industry – take her music videos for example. if there is one singer who can afford to make big-budget, expensive, high-quality music videos, it would be her. financially it would be too risky for other singers because their cds don’t sell as good as siti. but what did she do? it took her almost 5 years to come out with a decent video clip (i personally think that Percayalah was the first music video that can be considered as acceptable). in addition to that, she decided to make her ‘good’ music videos in indonesia! now, i don’t care how economically viable it is to make the music video in indonesia as compared to making it in malaysia, but if we keep going to indonesia to make music videos, how do we expect the local music-video making industry to develop and attain economies of scale? again maybe this is not feasible to other artistes, but she can AFFORD to make such sacrifices (after all, she kept on mentioning in her awards acceptance speech that “siti buat ini semua untuk industri muzik kita”. pleaseee – i beg to differ). the worse part is that even after attaining the superstar/diva status, she could still come out with humiliating, shot-in-a-hotel-suite music videos (just watch “lagu rindu” for example). have you no shame, cik siti?

when i say this to my friends, many of them would rush to siti’s defense and say that it may not be her decision to do all that. it’s her recording label. fair enough. but she could’ve switched to a different record label. but nooo, she kept on renewing her contract with the chinaman company year after year... (ok i’m sounding a little racist here, but i can’t help it. to me, you should work with someone who actually cares about the industry and not just a businessman whose only objective is to turn the singer into a cash-making machine and grabs every opportunity available to use her to make money. i guess that somehow explains the substandard music videos huh?)

3. i used to frown at the fact that she comes out with a new album almost once every 9 months or so. i just don’t feel that it’s fair for the other artistes. you see, for the industry to grow best, u need healthy competition. Other artistes need to be able to sustain their career in order to give siti competition. new up-and-coming acts need to give sales figures that can be seen as “profitable” for them to be given a chance to record a second album. but as we know, the malay purchasing power in general is not that great. if someone (who likes siti and a few other artists)can only afford to buy 2 albums a year, he or she can only buy siti’s albums in the end. Although he or she also likes some other artistes, he or she cannot buy the other albums because of the restricted purchasing power. when this happens, other talented new acts won’t be able to continue their journey in the music career because their albums don’t sell that well eventhough the fact is a lot of people actually liked their act. tapi sebab duit dah habis beli album siti, jadi lah macam tu. Does that make sense? I think so.

4. her dress sense can be horrendous at times. and she kept going to that michael ong guy (she still goes to him I think) why so? i have no idea - i guess it will remain as one of the great unknown mysteries of the world…

although my near-hatred feeling (near-hatred ke full-of-hatred ? :) ) towards siti nurhaliza were very much alive at that time (believe me, i’ve had dreams of talking to her one-on-one, pointing out to her the dumb things that she had done. in these dreams, i made her cry ;) ), the feeling somehow died after a while. perhaps it’s because she started winning less and less awards (i don’t know why, but i just hate invincibility in people… i just don’t think it’s fair the other contenders. among other people that I also hate – tiger woods, valentine rossi, michael schumacher ). from near-hatred, it cooled off to neutral. however, after watching her royal albert hall concert, i think i have grown to respect her more.. i may even like her a little bit now (oh no!). for what it’s worth, i think what she did was admirable. sure, i think she should have spoken a bit more english during her concert, and some of the things that she wore did not match the songs that she sang when she was in them. but it took a whole lot of courage to do something like that… it must have been nerve-wrecking, even for a super-duper-diva like her (btw, i don’t think kak pah would agree with the super-duper-diva title  ). but she managed to pull it off gracefully (or at least SOMEWHAT gracefully)

but of course, me being myself, i have my reservations on the whole royal albert hall (RAH) concert thingy. here are some of them:

1. i just don’t know why did they keep promoting her as the second asian singer to have had a concert at the RAH? Should that be considered as an achievement? don’t you PAY the RAH people to have concerts there? if they’re trying to point out that the RAH people are actually very particular with who can have concert at their place, why don’t they tell us who are some of the singers who had wanted to have a concert there?
2. why did they hire that fazley guy to organize the whole concert? i would never engage someone who once decided to wear the same style of outfit ALL THE TIME (remember those ugly odd-coloured suits he used to wear when he first started singing?) as a way of self-branding to manage your big debut in the UK. sure, he’s smart and stuff, but you can’t be smart at EVERYTHING… personally, i think that he’s smart, but he’s not very creative.
3. i don’t know for certain, but i sure hope that the programme book was good and descriptive enough. because if i were one of the mat sallehs at the concert, i would like a brief synopsis of each of the song that siti sang. she sure didn’t offer much info to the audience in her performance.

maybe what she has done is still not enough to make me eat back what i said 4 years ago, but i have to admit that i see her somewhat differently now. and i wish her all the best. but what i wish even more is that she would stop making “self-degrading” music videos… ok siti?

hope everyone had an enjoyable raya… mine was OK… i’m still on raya leave btw ;)

Tuesday, November 01, 2005


i’m back in my hometown… yup, the ever-peaceful-except-for-during-festive-season ipoh… all geared up to celebrate raya with my family. have been helping out with the raya preparation… performed my annual routine of chauffering my mom to the wet market near our house to get our supply of poultry and meat for the hari raya this morning (ok, i didn’t want to say this, but i just had to – the guy who worked at the poultry stall was so cute! meletup habis! i nearly ordered extra chickens just to continue watching him at work… eheh)

so anyway, looks like raya this year will be just like how it has been the past couple of years… maybe i can just provide a gist of what would happen in my family on the first day of raya:

1. we would all wake up late (with the exception of my parents) and my dad would get pissed off
2.having woken up late, we would all be rushing to get our turns to use the bathroom (everyone would BEG for my second sister to go last cos she takes ages to take her shower)
3. we’d be having breakfast… in a hurry
4. we’d have the salam-salam and the mintak maaf-mintak maaf bit right before we go off to the masjid (last year, my sister’s indonesian maid wept when we did this (she must have missed her family so much… kesian betul. i think i would have wept too if i was in her place)
5. i would forget to bring money for derma at the masjid and i would remind myself not to forget to do so for next raya (this happens almost EVERY year!)
6. after prayers, we’d go to one of my auntie’s house (it’s a family tradition - my dad’s side would visit a few houses in one big group. our house is always second on the list) we would not be hanging around there for long because we need to get ready cos our house would be attacked next
7. once we reach home, we would frantically get things ready for the guests. mind you, my dad has 20+ brothers and sisters (my grandpa had 2 wives) and most of my uncles and aunties are very ‘productive’ (READ: each one of them has a gazillion kids)
8. my mom would somehow assign me to be in-charge of drinks
9. i, in return would then scorn at the fact that my other brothers are not expected to help out in the kitchen - it seems like every year, they somehow get to be in the ‘reception committee’ and i would be eternally be in the ‘food and drinks committee’
10. sometime in between making the drinks, i would give out green packets to my younger cousins and relatives (whose names mostly i don’t even remember)
11. i would then do a little bit of mingling around… mostly with my male cousins and relatives (had to la… it would be too weird to join the female crowd). they would talk about guy stuff (cars, football) and i would pretend to be interested and engaged in the discussion
12.after a while, the group would decide to leave for my uncle’s house. i would get a great sense of relief the minute that happens
13. i would help with the clean-up. again, i would scorn at the fact that none of my brothers are required to help out except for me.
14. we will then join the group to attack the other houses. by the end of the day, i would have gained at least two kilos.. sometimes three (no kidding).

nevertheless, in spite of the disgruntlement and the abrupt change in weight (which will definitely leave me in a state of remorse and regret after raya is over), i still look forward to raya every year. it’s the only time of the year when you don’t need to feel shy to ask for someone’s forgiveness.. and it’s also the time when everyone is happy - and you’d somehow get to see the best in people when they are happy… and that’s nice.

have a wonderful raya everyone!