THIS IS MY NOWWWW!!!

note: the title has got nothing to do with the entry. saja je feeling2 jordin sparks sekejap... hahaha

my younger brother just got his matriculation results a few days back. and it's not really that good.

being the last one in the family, everyone was eager for his results. mostly because he is the only who is still studying (which makes him the only one in the family who are taking exams thus making him the only one in a 'structured' competition with other people. to my family, it's all about competition.. and winning) . although all of us want him to perform, i can't help but feel that some of my siblings are secretly enjoying his less than flattering results. like my elder brother, who is taking this opportunity to compare how HE did in university even when he was not provided with facilities which my younger brother has enjoyed. or my sister, who seems to have a talent of kicking you when you are down with her snide remarks. but for me, i really really wanted to do well for this exam. because i know what could be the consequences of not scoring in this matriculation exam. and because i know how badly my dad wants to put my younger brother, his last child, through university. i know that it would give him a tremendous feeling of relief if he is able to do that.

when i went back last march, i had a talk with my brother. a g*yman-to-man talk (hehehe). i told him to really really work hard for the exam. that his failure to do well in this exam could be detrimental to his future (over kan?). i told him about my friend's sister who is now doing medicine (self-sponsored) in some former ussr country just because she didn't do very well in her matrics exam. i told him of some of the weird courses that they are offering in public universities which are usually offerred to students with bad matriculation exam cgpa. things like ijazah sarjana muda sains perhutanan (penghususan teknologi dan industri serat kayu) or ijazah sarjana muda kejuruteraan polimer or ijazah sarjana muda sains hortikultur (scary!). and how do i know all this? because i used to go out with some of these .... err... students.

apparently, the talk that i had with him was not very effective. he got a 2.63 for his cgpa. i spoke to him the other day and he sounded ok. he has always been like that. i little bit - emotionless (especially when you compare him with his dramatic brother). i spoke to my dad after that, and he sounded very disappointed. he was telling me that he might just enrol my brother to one of those kolej universiti, he doesn't think that even if my brother manage to get a place in the main universities, he's be able to pull it off.

my heart sank a little bit. i never thought that my dad would lose hope on my brother like that. i mean, the boy is not incapable. it's just that he has been a bit lazy and unfocused. and he does sleep a lot. A LOT. which, of course upsets my dad more because that would be one of his pet peeves (i remember that during semester breaks he would get pissed when i woke up at 10 am everyday saying that i sleep too much. what he doesn't know that at that time i was going to bed at 4 am everyday doing my... ermm... 'research'). my brother can just put his head on a pillow and doze off in about 2 seconds - something that i've never been able to do.

so now everyone is a bit pening of what he should do next. my sister suggested that he takes up computer science. he's eligible to apply to do computer science in one of the better universities but he said that he's not interested. he wants to do mechanical engineering. but he can only apply to those univerisities in sabah or sarawak because they have a lower requirement. my mother, of course, doesn't want him to go to sabah. my elder brother on the other hand, thinks that engineering is the best course in the world (mostly because he took the same course) and is advising him to go. my dad is still considering the less-competitive universiti kolej option for my brother.

i'm just afraid he is going to get neither. not computer science. not mechanical engineering. but there's a good chance that he'll get sains botani.. or some other merepek course. i just told him just apply for something that he likes so that there's a better chance that he'll study harder for it. the rest, i just ask him to leave to God. doa je la banyak-banyak. life takes you through amazing twists and turns that u might end up being nowhere close from what you plan to be.

when i was his age and i had to make my decision as to which degree course to take, i initially opted to take economics. and i remember writing this down vividly in my anaysis sheet as to a plus point for taking economics:

"i can be a writer for the far eastern economic review."

i actually got my first choice to do economics but changed course to accountancy after 4 weeks of studying. now, i work as an auditor in d*bai. and instead of writing for the far eastern economic review, i am now an author of a g*y blog. a long shot from the original plan?

just a tad :P

REGAL BEHAVIOUR

just a short tribute to one cool person - my prince / my neighbour (his 'palace' is actually walking distance from my house in ip*h) / the guy whom i received my scroll from during my graduation - dr. raja n*zrin.

i applaud what you did. refusing government fund for the wedding, advising the well-wishers / ass-kissers not to advertise congratulatory adverts in newspapers, not serving beef at the makan2 thing - the whole gesture (at first i was a bit unhappy that there were still fireworks involved, but i later found out that the 30-minutes fireworks were sponsored by MCA. so that's cool). really hope that other royalties take the cue from what you did. and i hope you can do more for the country in any way that you can. i'm a bit worried. the country seems to be in a morality mess (with PLUs screwing each other everywhere..hehehe). oh, and congratulations on your wedding. your wife is very pretty. and smart too. ip*h born, right? no wonder :P

one of the (sadly few) reasons why i'm proud to be a perakian is because of the royal family. not only do we have the most handsome king, our raja muda actually has phd from harvard (korang ada ke? hehehe...). but of course, there's a lot of reasons to be ashamed of too. having an ex-mayor who thinks that his main reponsibility as a mayor is to lead senamrobik sessions at the city padang and cycle all around the state would be one of them. and having an ex state minister whose only talent seems to be carrying out half-baked projects in his constituency would be another.

sedih kan?

THE NEW GUYS

3 new single malaysian guys have recently joined my department.

now, i can almost guess the kind of images that are developing in your minds when you read the first sentence, my dear (fellow special beings) readers. images of three gorgeous looking (and possibly plu) guys in office wear must come to mind huh? i had the same image in my mind as well (or could it just be me? alamak malu la pulak).

but unfortunately for me, the reality turned out to be a leeeeetle bit different than that. let's just say that my dreams of any office romance were dashed the moment i saw them at the airport (hahaha). they turned out to be straight, and not very... yummy (i don't mean to objectify these people, but i just need to say it. it's important for the storyline..hahaha)

although my gaydar may not be working properly the whole time, i'm pretty sure it got it right this time. they are definitely not bengkok. but thankfully, they are also not one of those super duper masculine guys who i am not uncomfortable to be around with. they turned out to be average 30 something single guys guys. average SAD 30 something single guys. seriously, isn't it sad to be single when you are 30 something and straight? (i'm indirectly insulting my brother here, out of spite. hehehe).

generally they are ok. it's been about 3 months since they came, and in my opinion, they are still tolerable (don't know if they can say the same thing about me though.. hehehe). sure, one has a bad breath problem (or APPEARS to have one because he is always unconsciously covering his mouth when he talks and popping breath mints and using the breathspray every so often) and one has a problem using the toilet (the toilet is practically FLOODED everytime after he uses it. makes you wonder if he's trying to save money by showering in the office). but generally, they are ok. for now (i feel the need to put a disclaimer.. cos u never know what's gonna happen later).

watching them having to go through the stuff that they need to do to get settled in this country reminds me of how i was just over a year ago. how i was feeling at the time, how my life was. i can't believe it was barely 16 months ago. it seemed like so many things have happened since then. it may not be so clear before, but i'm starting to realise that i've changed a quite a bit since i first came here. i HAVE grown. i HAVE gained some experience. i guess it really takes someone who doesn't have what u have to make u realise that u have it right. when i compare myself then with myself now, i think one word would describe it best. stronger. and in more way than one too.

yeap, i'm stronger now.

FINALLY

after almost a month of waiting, i finally got internet at home. and that's not before i threw a B.F. at the ISP's customer service guy this afternoon. a 21 minutes and 39 seconds B.F. i'm getting better at this 'scolding people in english' apparently. i guess i have etis*lat to thank for this. they provided me the opportunity to practice. i do pity the guy who had to answer my call. there were times that he was actually rendered speechless. mesti trauma (ntah2 cute kan? kesian je). but i had no one to channel my frustration. i was not really frustrated at him, i was frustrated of the system (or lack thereof). and to know that this company is STILL making a fortune with such crappy service - it just ignites my anger.

the muscat trip was actually a good one. the only thing that could've made it better was if the weather was cooler. well, the weather AND if i didn't have to go for that dolhin watching thing (hahaha... sorry zal. just kidding la. i did have fun for the first 10 minutes.. :P). the rest of the trip was just great. muscat is a great place with breathtaking scenery and warm, friendly locals. it was really an eye-opener for me to see how the different history, culture and possibly the wealth of two countries (which are next located to each other) can influence the general behaviour and conduct of its people. there is something about the om*nis which makes me respect them more. perhaps it was the fact that their custome is the only custome (in the ar*b world) that allows room to express one's individuality. perhaps it was their couteous manner and honest smiles (on my trip back, one guy, after realising that he got his seat number wrong, actually apologised to me profusely for his mistake. initially he thought that i was in his seat). i have to say that this trip has made me hate the country that i'm working in a leeee-tle bit more.

apart from the great scenery and great people, i also had great company. excellent travelling partners. i don't know where else can i find travelling partners who are willing to do all the driving and map navigating while i doze off in the rented car? hehehe. to you guys (you know who you are), thanks a lot. i hope i provided you with enough entertainment in the car to compensate for my lack of participation in the driving and navigating... hehehe. oh and i met another friend. he's.... not too bad (OBVIOUSLY he reads my blog now or else i won't be too generic with my description.. :P). just kddding k?

so in the end, i pretty much got what i wished for in my last entry. a pleasant trip to muscat, and internet connection at home. it does feel good when your prayers are answered isn't it? especially when you feel that sometimes you dont deserve it.

TYPICAL VIRGO, TYPICAL ME

i pride myself for being a good planner. a meticulous planner, in fact. someone who would take consideration of everything that should be taken into consideration before making a decision. i really, as much as possible, try to avoid sub-optimal decisions. i hate wasting unintentionally (wasting intentionally, however, is a totally different matter, which i do enjoy once in a while). it's a typical virgo trait.

the other thing about virgoans (especially the virgin ones.. wakakaka) is that they're supposed to excel in accomplishing small tasks with limited objectives. (generally) we are not very strategic minded kinda people who can see the "big picture" or good at carrying out those 5-year plan or 10-years plan thingies (which, btw, is why i'm so clueless about my life plan even at 26). why? i'm not really sure. maybe it's just impossible to do a perfect job for these type of tasks where the duration is very long and the variables are endless. and virgoans, are of course, are a bunch of perfectionist pricks.

that is why i felt like banging my head against the wall the other day. why? because i failed a particular task which i gave myself. the task was to get myself return tickets to muscat. and of course, the objective was to get the best possible deal, especially in terms of price (i hate wasting.. well, you can even call me a cheapskate - i don't care. it's my money anyway). naturally, i went to a few airlines' websites to do my research and collect my data. however, while browsing through various websites, one budget airline slipped my mind. so i ended up buying my tickets from this budget airline which i have flown before and which i had thought was a pretty good deal already, considering other people had to pay 1k to get to the same place. i, on the other had to pay about 480 dirhams (rm480) for mine. wait.. scrap that. with the depreciating value of the dirham.. it's actually about rm430 (ok, i am NOT gonna start blabbing about the depreciating dirham - i might not be able to stop)

anyway, it was only 2 days after i have purchased my ticket that i came acroos the website of the airline which i had initially forgotten. and being someone who just HAS to know, i went into the website to find out about the price they are offering. 314 dirhams (about rm 280). 'deal of the week' - to add salt to the wound. better timing pulak tu. "celakaaaaaa!!!!!" i yelped, sending confused stares from my new colleagues (oh yeah, new colleagues are here. will talk about them later). i felt like an utter failure.

to my defense, i'm not really familiar about this airline. it's quite a new one. i've only heard of them from their radio.. twice i think. but i have no one to defend against except for myself. virgoans are perfectionists. and what i did in this case was far from perfect.

but virgoans, are also known to be good analysts. and that's just what i did. i analysed the situation to see if i can make it better. and i managed to do just that. i decided to buy that 314 dirhams ticket, and change the destination of my 480 dirhams ticket to doha. i was already planning to go to doha sometime during summer so i might as well get the ticket now. and jaz*era does not fly to doha, so no possiblity of getting a cheaper ticket than air ar*bia. so i went on to make the necessary changes. in the end, i saved 66 dirhams, get better timing for my muscat flight, will be able to experience this new airline (although i'm not an airline freak like SOME people :P) and got the 'deal of the week'. i felt good. even when i failed the initial objective, i think i pretty much nailed my subsequent objective. my damage control objective. and now i'm set to get on that plane for a great weekend in muscat.

it may seem like a cliche and superficial, but i always find those articles describing traits of a virgo are really about me. i am actually someone who is very skeptical of things, but when it comes to this, it's amazing how everything is just so spot-on. ok, maybe not everything. ALMOST everything. there are some differences. based on these articles, i'm supposed to be a health freak (which i am not) and also a clean freak (i'm somewhat clean la... but i do have my off days sometimes). oh yeah, i'm supposed to be drop dead gorgeous too. we all know that's not the case huh.

i can't help but feel that i'm somewhat doomed with my life because i possess these traits of a virgo. "pessimistic", "worrier", "has mood swings", "frequently depressed", "destructive at times". those who have been reading my blog or those who know me in person knows that all those traits - are all me. ALLLLL me. and that's not the worse of it. this is what one article says about virgoans in the relationship department:

The kind of love which displays itself in dramatic emotions, sentimental promises, tearful declarations and mushy affection, not only leaves a Virgo man cold, it can frighten him into catching the nearest bus or train out of town. (Planes are too fast and too expensive for him, unless he's really desperate.) But he can be melted if the temperature is just right, even though he seems to be made of a com­bination of steel and ice. There are definitely ways to the Virgo heart. Secret ways. Aggressive pursuit is not one of them. Neither is coquetry nor sexuality, as many a flirtatious vamp and slinky siren has learned, to her surprise and disappointment.

Virgos seek quality rather than quantity in romance. Since quality is at pretty much of a premium in any category, they have few real love affairs, and the few they do have are destined to be unlucky or sad in some way, more often than not. Virgo's reaction to such a disappointment is normally to bury himself in the hardest work he can find, stay away from society in general, and be twice as cautious at the next opportunity. You can see that you'll have to use considerable strategy and patience. The basic Virginian instinct is chastity, and he's turned from it only for a good cause or for a mighty good woman. Many Virgos-though admittedly not all-can live with celibacy far more easily than any other Sun sign, just as they put up with rules of discipline they don't understand, because obedience to fate without struggling comes naturally to them. If fate decrees a single life, Virgo is prepared to accept it without excess regret or emotional trauma, so there are lots of Virgo bachelors around-but still, in their quiet way, they can manage some very poetic, if fragile, love affairs.

doomed, i tell you. doomed! hahaha..

IT'S BEEN A MONTH!

sometimes, when you have not blogged for so long, it gets a little bit difficult to even START your new entry. it's just too much pressure. all the anticipation from my readers - it does get a little overwhelming. this must be how j.k rowling feels like before a new potter book is released (hihihi).

anyway, i blame everything on etis*lat (etis*lat, btw, is the internet service provider in this country). as you may know, i've recently moved to a new apartment (oh-uh, i still haven't posted those photos have i? :P) and so i had to apply for new internet connection. and as expected, the process of getting internet connection for my new apartment has been very very slow. MIND-NUMBINGLY slow. first, they had a change in procedures (which, of course was not announced to the public) which requires me to get a 'no objection' letter from my EMPLOYER to allow me to get internet connection in MY apartment (this is IN ADDITION to the requirement of bringing an original copy of the TENANCY AGREEMENT for the application). after the application was submitted, come the long waiting process. they told me that it would take a miximum of 14 days to get the bloddy thing installed. well, today is actually day 22 and they have not called. but of course, i've been calling them. incessantly. i've been harrassing them. i've been a very very bad customer. well, can't blame me. i'm a very dissatisfied customer. and i tell you, i can be very very mean to these customer service people. especially the dumb, rude ones. very bad combination of attributes to be possessed by a customer service personnel.

but i don't always get to win over here. in fact, i will almost DEFINITELY lose if the person on the other end is an ar*b. these people just bring a whole new definition of the word rudeness. and they are supposed to be in customer service. how ironic. usually, when i call them, they will start off ok. but the minute you request them to repeat something (due to their sometimes incomprehensible spoken english), they get irritated. and they'll start talking to you in that irritated tone. they'll repeat it once again, and they'll hang up on you, leaving you dumbstruck. you'll get used to it after a while.

but getting used to life without internet at home takes a little bit more of getting used to. so to escape from the impending boredom of life without internet at home during the weekend, i've decided to go melancong (hehehe).this thursday, i'll be off to muscat, oman. i've been planning to go and visit this country for a few times already, but somehow it never materialised. so it's good (and also a relief) to have it finally materialise. and the best part is i won't be going there alone (unlike one of my original plans). at least there's someone to take my photos when i'm there (with their much more canggih digicams.. opportunist nih). apart from looking forward to see the country, i'm also looking forward to catch with some old friends (tak yah la mention nama korang ek... korang dah glamer dah :P) and a new friend. here's hoping for a good weekend trip (and internet connection after i come back). fingers are crossed.. real tight.