TER-BALIK

three days ago, i was still contemplating whether i should go to oman this weekend. since everyone is getting a four-day break due to raya haji, i felt like i should take the opportunity to visit another country around this region (you know.. since i may not have that much time to do that anymore if i'm going back for good soon). but none of friends here are available to join me (maybe it's because i only have like FIVE friends here). so i was thinking whether i should go on that trip alone or not. but now, i'm actually thinking about how many days should i spend in ipoh and how many days i should spend in kl next week.

yes people - aiskrempotong is (suddenly) going back!!!! :)

my company, keeping in line with the (incomprehensible) practice of this country, decided to announce a 3-day eid holidays THREE days befire the actual holiday, which btw means that i'm getting a 5-day break. and using my highly commendable mathematics skills (i juara kuiz matematik darjah 6 ok? ;P), i realised that if i could apply 2 days of annual leave, i'll be getting 9 days straight! and of course, the thought of going back to malaysia came into mind. 9 days seem like a decent enough duration for me to pay about 2.8 k for a return flight to malaysia (cost-benefit analysis la konon). i sprang into action almost immediately and called up almost all airlines that have flights to malaysia. and let me tell you, it's not easy to get ticket a week before the intended travel date ok? but alhamdulillah, i managed to get one. the timing could have been better.. but it's not so bad. so.. 3 days from today (or 2 - i'm still on waiting list on an earlier flight) i'll be in klia, down on my knees kissing the airport floor the moment i got into the main terminal (hahaha.. don't worry - i'm not gonna do it).

but this trip back, albeit almost accidental, is not without a mission. i've got few things that i plan to do when i get there. and unlike my last list of things to do when i go back to malaysia, my current list is more critical (and weirdly enough, i don't crave for food that much anymore.. although i still have a severe weakness for satay kajang and ikan keli.. ehehe). so may i present to you.. my list of things to do:

1. i am going to use every single gram of my baggage allowance to bing back my prized possessions here. since there is a possibility that i might be going back for good in march/april, i don't want to have to leave stuff that i wish i could bring back. so, i'm actually packing most of my books, my clothes, my shoes (i bought a few new pairs this year) and even my karaoke player back

2. i plan to attend one or two interviews during the time when i'm back. this, of course is dependant on my rezeki and my faithful friends and family member who are currently pulling strings like crazy to arrange them for me (there IS a reason why i put RESOURCEFUL on my cv :P).

3. i am going to look for some property investment opportunities back home. i think i should sign up for some additional financial obligations to keep me motivated and push me to work harder. it's not really happening right now.

4. i plan to make a visit to p*sat p*ngutan zakat n*geri p*rak to pay my zakat for the year.. and most importantly..

5. i'm just going to BE in m'sia and gauge whether i can just not be in the country for just another year.

of course, i plan to meet some of my friends back home as well. the last time i went back, i didn't manage to see a lot of people as i was pretty occupied with ..err.. something. but this time around, whatever time that's left will be devoted to my friends. for you guys (fellow fabulous bloggers.. eheh) whom i did not manage to lepak with the last time around (you know who you guys are), drop me an email and give me your contact number ok? i want to meet you guys too and i'll try to use my award-winning planning skills to make it happen. however, in any case, i will be going back again in a couple of months after this for a longer break (or even for good .. depending). so i guess it will not be that bad.

for three years in a row now, december has been a critical, nerve-wrecking, mind-numbing month for me. life-altering decisions, mostly career-wise, was made in december. looks like my life has it's own special events carried out on annual basis. i'm just gonna call december "bulan mencari arah tuju kehidupan" or "bulan menukar majikan" or something". maybe i'll have my own corny sub-theme every year (in the spirit of emulating our government). anyway, this is also the main reason why i have not been updating so frequently nowadays (and it's actually getting a bit difficult to write a decent post nowadays.. sometimes i feel like my brain does the program-not-responding bit (like what my laptop usually does) and i would normally click the 'end now' button ..and do something else. there's another big decision that i will have to make soon.. and (as always) i'm still indecisive. furthermore, a few recent developments which took place in the past one week has now make it even harder for me to make the decision.

everyone says that i should perform sembahyang istiqarah to get guidance from God on the best decision for me. but if one of the main reasons that i want to go back is to do something that is not acceptable in His eyes, is there really a need for me to even try? sembahyang TAUBAT seems more aprropriate..

ASKED TO LEAVE

my 'infamous' housemate was asked to leave the company by my boss yesterday. i heard that this was going to happen, but not this soon though. so it still came as a bit of a shock when it happened.

i have to admit that i prefer not having him around. but there are of course different ways to not having him around. i was hoping that he would get another job (i know that he has gone for some interviews) and he would leave .. you know.. the conventional way (i.e. get another job and resign). but now, he is given 2 days to submit his resignation or my boss will issue him a termination letter. and no matter how a pain in the a** he can be, i actually pity him now.

for the record, i would not have kept him around anyway if i was my boss. he kinda sucks at his job. and couple that with a less-than-affable personality, it is very easy to see him as burden to the department. and his traits are just the exact opposites of the traits required to be in this profession. a total mismatch. but this thing could have been handled in a less dramatic and embarrassing manner. but my boss is not really the most compassionate person in the world either. maybe he has his own grudges on him that justifies his action. i dont know.. but i would have opted a more gentlemanly way to do it.

i had quite a long talk with my housemate today. and told him about many of the things that i wanted to tell him. why i (and the rest of the department) was always pissed off at him. i was not trying to add salt to the wound, but honestly, it's for his own good (i think). someone needs to tell him. someone needs to tell him that there are people like me in this world (who can NOT talk to him for 2 days just because he did not hold the door to the person behind him [and the person behind him was not even me!]). and a lot of other things too.. but most importantly, i told him that this is probably for the better. in fact, i STRONGLY believe that this could be the start of something better. just like me, he doesn't have a lot of people to turn to here. so he needs all the encouragement that he can get. and i think i gave him all that i can.

him not being around will definitely effect my life here. a positive effect, that is (unless the person who replaces him turns out to be a much bigger a**hole than this one. but i think my boss has learned his lesson.. ). now i'm trying to imagine my life, staying in my own 1 bedroom apartment, not having him around in the office. doesn't look really bad actually. suddenly working here for another year seems a little bit less of a bad idea.

whatever it is, i guess i should be thankful that my housemate turns out to be the repulsive person that he is. or else, ada pulak yang bercinta dengan housemate sendiri nanti... (*wink*). and i wish him well. may he find a better job and a better housemate. but more importantly, i wish that he will change - for his own good.

THE WEEKEND THAT WAS

my trip to doha was an eye opener to say the least. maybe i can call it a mini revelation (in more ways than one). apart from experiencing the asian games (which, btw, was a lot of fun!), i got a taste of how life in doha would be like as a m'sian expat (thanks to zali and his.. err..friend [tak boleh mention nama ek? plu blogger in the closet i think..hehehe]). and i can say that it's not so bad at all..

somehow, my trip to doha has made me hate dubai more. maybe because it made me realise that my life doesn't have to suck so bad just because i'm working in the middle east. and there is another place (which btw, is merely a 50-minute-flight away) that can give me the opportunity to earn more and to gain the experience (to enrich my so-called career) without having to put up with so much crap that comes with this place. there is another place where:

- you can access all the sites that you want on the internet
- you can use skype (and other VOIP service providers)
- you don't have to spend insanely long hours in the car just to get to work (currently, i'm spending about 2 and a half hours in the car every morning just to reach my client's office which is about 15 kilometres away from where i'm staying. that is how bad the traffic is here)
- you have a fellow friend of your own kind who you can oogle cute guys with and just be yourself (instead of pretending not to look at handsome creatures at the mall AND having to pretend to look interested when you see pretty girls.. because it is expected of you)

i know that first impression can be misleading. and things always look better on the other side. but i think i can trust my judgement on this. and that is why, i'm seriously considering gwtting an employment there.

before i went to doha, my mind was set about going back to malaysia next year once i got my bonus. actually, before i came here, i promised myself that i would at least give it a year here. and i'm living up to my promise (it's almost my eleventh month here). but i thought that i might as well wait a few more months for the bonus before i bid farewell. but the situation in the office has become more and more unbearable. two of my colleagues have found another job and are leaving next month (which, btw proves that i'm not the only one who has issues with the boss' way of managing things). and the ones who are leaving are the ones who i am closest with (and the more competent ones, in my opinion). i have a feeling that after next month, the situation in the office will be much worse than it is now. and i just don't know whether it's worth to go through the suffering just for the money? i know that we need to challenge ourselves to become better individuals, but i just don't know where the limit is. so far, i've been using other people's judgement on what the limit is because seriously, if it was up to me, the limit will be very very low (i'm very lazy).

now, i am back into the job-hunting mode. updating my resume.. applying for jobs online..i don't really like it actually. i think i've beend doing it way too frequently, specially for someone with only four years of working experience. there's just too many variables involved now. too many potential opportunities. but unfortunately, nothing is confirmed yet. i am not known to be a very patient man (although it's amazing how i managed to refrain myself from committing some 'acts' so far - as much as possible that is). so all this waiting and uncertainties are slowly killing me.

i hope that things will turn out ok... wish me luck guys!!!

p.s: someone actually wanted to boycott my blog for not writing sooner.. (peminat fanatik ke? ahaks..). anyway, here it is. but i think that the person will find this entry disappointing. i'm sorry ..but there are things that i'd rather not say here (i've learned my lesson). if there's anything that you need to know - just ask. i don't bite (and i think you know that).

TRIP-PING

i still remember that around this time last year, i was in the middle of making a very big decision - whether to take up this offer to work in d*bai or not. a lot of things were considered. and just like a typical auditor that i am, i just had to make a list. the pro's and con's list. and i still remember that one of the things listed under my pro's was "i can go to qatar and watch the asian games".

insyallah, that will come true today :)

i may not be that much of a sportsman, but i do enjoy watching certain types of competitive sports (football not included). plus, i am quite a patriotic citizen of my beloved country (so patriotic that i'm willing to work thousands of miles away just to improve to the country's balance of payments :P). so, being the patriotic citizen that i am, i feel like it is my duty to board that plane and give my undying support to the national athletes (well..that - and to oogle at other countries' athletes in their sports attire (and i don't mean golf..hehehe).

it's been quite some time since i went for a trip. not just outside the country - even within this country. i don't know la... but since every corner of the country is covered with sand, i just don't find travelling around uae that appealing. sure, qatar will not be a lot different... but at least the games is there. plus, i'll get to meet some of the most famous plu msi*n bloggers in the state of qatar!! (kepada yang berkaitan, jangan kembang ok? :P). that's why i'm really looking forward to this trip. there isn't a lot of things that i can cheer about where i am now. at least, going there helps change that a little..

please let me get a seat next to a cute ar*b in the plane later... please let me get a seat next to a cute ar*b in the plane later... wakakaka

APOLOGY

for those of you who have been checking out this blog for new entries, i'm sorry that i have not been able to post anything for quite some time. a lot of things has happened in the past few days / weeks that it has been hard for me to make any updates. let's just say that i'm currently taking life lessons on relationships and dealing with human emotions (in particular my own). all part of growing up. and to prepare myself for bigger heartaches in the future. i have to say, it's all been very challenging so far. overwhelming, in fact.

love is turning out to be harder than how i expected it to be. i thought the hard part was to find that someone whom you like who likes you back. i thought THAT was the challenge. but i now realised that even if you have that, it may not be enough. there's so many other things that can fail it. now, it's more like a gamble. i think i've just lost my bet. and i'm painfully paying for it now.

however, the thing that is happening to me now has enabled me to think clearer about the other aspect of my life. about the decision that i have to make in the near future. it was able to correct some misconceptions that i had about certain things. perhaps i can call it a revelation. but is the revelation worth the pain that i'm suffering now? i don't know... we'll see.

i'm not taking a hiatus or anything. but as i said, i'm a bit overwhelmed at the moment. so it might be a while before i can write my next entry. in any case, i just feel like i need to write something just to let you guys know that i'm still alive (albeit barely). and i also know that most of you won't be able to know what i'm writing about. but sometimes, not knowing is good. ignorance IS bliss. trust me. because trying to forget something that you know - is almost impossible.