LEARNING FROM THE CUTE DOCTORS

i've been watching a lot of hospital-themed tv series (for lack of a better term) lately. well, not really a lot - just couple. house and grey's anatomy, to be exact. and watching these shows, albeit for entertainment purposes, has taught me quite a few things really.

first of all, i learn that there are a lot of cute doctors in america. so i've decided, when i'm rich enough, and if i need medical attention, i know where i should be flying to (eheh). secondly, i also learned that being a doctor is actually a very tough job.

you see, the current job assignment that i have requires me to do something that i have never been particularly good at - financial auditing (i'm not gonna bore you with the details of my job - did i see you yawning already? hmph). i hate it. and because i hate it, i suck at it. even when i was in school i sucked at it. so i'm struggling a little bit with a new job. it's a bit tough because you know that you need to impress your boss in your first assignment. and because of this, i am required to work a little bit harder at work. it takes a lot of effort to force yourself to do something that you suck at historically. and i'm not sure if i have been very successful at it. and that's why, albeit the bountiful-ness of eye candies in my workplace, i've been somehow dragging myself to work.

but watching these shows made me realise that i actually have it quite easy. being a doctor (i'm referring to those real-life doctors, not mcdreamy) is a lot worse than being an internal auditor who is forced to do external audit stuff (i just gave away my job haven't i. damn). i mean, you can never slack (you can but the consequences can be fatal to someone), you are required to make decisions even when you are not sure it's the correct decision, you need to deal with deaths, and (most importantly) you are subjected to wear those non-flattering OT uniform (heheh). and not all of them are making good money (especially back home). a good friend of mine is actually working as a doctor in one of the public hospitals. he is one of the smartest, wisest friends that i know. cute pulak tu. macam nak jatuh cinta je. i would lepak with him a lot whenever i go back, and everytime i go back i never failed to be amazed by him. amazed by how well he is managing his job. i would have died from the pressure of being a doctor (actually i would have died from having to study for 7 years to get a medical degree). but he's being really cool about it. he actually complains less about his job than i do about mine (but that's no surprise is it? i think i complain more than most people i know..heheh)

the other thing that i've learned from these shows (especially house, since the show features some really weird stuff) is that i should be grateful for being considerably healthy, even though i'm only 27. it's true, we always take our health for granted especially when we are young. it's like it's our birth right to be healthy. unfortunately, for some it's not. and for that, i am grateful that i am one of the fortunate ones.

who said that watching tv is a waste of time?

p.s: my ticket has been confirmed. yey!

Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN 12 SEPTEMBER AND 20 SEPTEMBER?

A: 12 september is the deadline when i was supposed to purchase my flight ticket to go back for this raya. 20 september is the date in which i THOUGHT was the deadline when i was supposed to purchase my flight ticket to go back for this raya.

which is why, when i call the airline today, they couldn't find my name on the list.

which is also why, now not only is the ticket price has increased by a hundred bucks (it's still money ok!), i am now on WAITING LIST for RAYA!!!

apparently, 27 is the age when you start to get confused with numbers..

SO HOW WAS IT THIS TIME AROUND?

overall, it was good birthday, considering the circumstances. it was ramadhan, and i was in a different country. had a mini celebration with my close friends over here (thanks for the cake guys.. and thanks for dragging yourself out to celebrate with me eventhough i know everyone was tired on the first day of puasa). blew the candle. wished to finally have a boyfriend this year. then gasped at the fact that i actually wished for something like that at 27 (at 27, wishing for a good career or god's blessing in life would be more appropriate). oh well, what's done is done.

got a few (i'm being modest here) birthday wishes from friends and family throughout the day. made me realise that i actually do have quite a few friends which i have made throughout my life that i am still in touch with. ex-classmates, ex-colleagues (from 6 companies by the way). it's a good feeling to know that although i have moved on, i still remain friends with them. in my earlier post, i may have complained a little bit about meeting lots of friends whenever i go back home and still feel empty. now i realise that it's the effort made to still see these friends everytime i go back that helps maintain the friendships (which is not something that is easy to do, isn't it?) . and i shouldn't belittle all these friendships. because these friendships are the things that have kept me going so far.

but i have to admit, among all the messages that i received on that day, one of them really made my day. and it's not even a birthday message. and not even from anyone i know. it was a myspace message from a stranger:

"Muke u cm lead singer samson...cute...take care"

(pengsan kan? hahaha)

yeah, he might be the most disillusioned person in the world but hey, he made my day. and the birthday boy deserves to be happy ok? even if it means playing along with some other people's disillusionment.

and flirting with the guy. eheh.

AS IT APPROACHES..

age is nothing but a number, they say. but this particular number can sometimes stir all sorts of emotions in people. especially when the number is about to increase by another notch. And that’s what’s happening to me now. my emotions are rather stirred at the moment.

27. twenty-seven, dua puluh tujuh. saba’atun wa’ashrun (i had to google for this. i only know how to count until ten in arabic..hehe). vingt-sept. no matter how i say it, it just sounds the same. it sounds OLD (eheh).

i remember when i was 20, i had a premature mid-life crisis. i was moving away from being a teenager and i was already reaching the age of adulthood. when i read the newspaper, instead of writing “seorang remaja berumur 20 tahun”, they wrote “seorang lelaki berumur 20 tahun”. i got frightened. i wasn’t ready to be an adult. it became a big matter of concern for a while. But i knew why i was feeling that way. there were so many things that other 20 year olds have done which i had not done at the time. things that only teenagers can do. so, it felt like time was running out for me.

the exact same feeling has surfaced once again now. although most people would consider 30 as a significant milestone and would start freaking out at 29, as someone who is very forward thinking with a very good foresight, i’ve decided to freak out now (hahaha). at 27, there are some things that i have yet to do or experience. like bungee jumping in new zealand (yeah, right) or singing at the royal albert hall (sitti did it at 25 ok? hehehe ). no la, i’m talking about things in the relationship department (which you guys don’t want to hear again) and some other things. plus, i don't really act like a 26-year old half of the time. (i mean, how many people my age would buy the high school musical dvd and watch it for 3 nights in a row the first time he bought it?). how can i be 27?

and what's more - this time, my birthday will be on the first day of ramadhan. i can't even remember the last time i celebrated my birthday during ramadhan (arithmetically, it would have been when i was 1 or 2 year old, i think). so i'm a bit clueless as to how does one celebrate his birthday in the month of ramadhan. how does one do it? (btw, i just received a mailer from red box about a 'ramadhan promotion'. buffet plus 3 hours of 'room usage'. i got confused a little bit. what would the rooms be used for? semayang terawih ke? hehehe). perhaps i can do a double celebrations thingy. but these two occasions are usually celebrated rather differently, so how shall i fuse them together? but whatever it is, i hope that my first day of ramadhan will be better than last year's .. and my birthday.. will not be so bad.

anyway, to everyone, have a blessed ramadhan, ok? cheers!

HOLLOW INSIDE

i actually went back for a while last month before i started this new job (i’m sorry if i didn’t contact some of you guys while i was there). did the usual routine of KL-Ip*h-KL-Ip*h-KL (which was quite tiring, as usual). Caught up with my old friends and colleagues. met up with a few new ones (maybe they’re not really friends la… but I don’t really know what to call them). the usual. had my trips to satay kajang and red box (TWICE). the usual. caught up with my brothers and sisters and my anak2 buah. the usual. felt incredibly tired (from too many outings) and lousy the last few days of my break (at the thought of having to come back here). the usual. felt terribly sad and alone because even after meeting all the people that i love and care about, i still feel alone because i don't have a special someone, just for me. the FREAKING usual.

of course, i had fun catching up with my friends and family. and i’d much rather be in M'sia than in d*bai at any given time (even if KL was flooded and it was the cooling winter in d*bai at that time). but it feels a little bit empty not having someone special to spend time with. actually, every time i go back, i would go back with a little hope that things would be different 'this time around'. that something would happen. that somehow, in a possibly freaky way, i would meet someone and things would hit off. but in the end, it doesn't happen. i’d return to d*bai feeling more lonely and more miserable than before because what i wished for did not come true. there would always be that time at the airport, when i'd be waiting to board the plane, and i'd look back at what i've done the whole time i was back home. the trip would be eventful, but i'd still feel empty.

a friend (you know who you are) left me an offline message the other day asking me if i had listened to the new anuar zain song. he said that it’s his current theme song. i hadn’t heard it at the time, so i quickly youtubed and listened to it. i was overwhelmed with sadness after listening to it. not because it’s terribly touching or anything. but because i (unlike most other ‘lelaki’) am not able to relate to the song. i can’t make it my theme song. not only don’t I have anyone at the moment, i've never even had anyone whom i’ve had a significant relationship with anyone EVER (except for the few heterosexual relationships which i don't think qualify under this category). how many other 27-year-olds can make the same the statement? (apart from you, sizzlingmee. you are 28, btw. now put down your hand :P). not many, i’m sure.

btw, how much does an anak ikan cost these days?

just a thought. eheh..

p.s: birthday is coming soon. expect the usual 'anniversary' entry.. hehehe

I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY

quite a few things have changed since i last posted an entry here. at that time of my last entry, i was still working in my old company (yes, i've job-hopped again), sharifah amani was still bald (as SOMEONE pointed out) and i was still without a partner (oh wait, THAT has still not changed *sigh*). now, i'm actually entering a new phase in my life as i am starting a new job (which i hope will be a positive step towards achieving that elusive job satisfaction) and with this new job, more changes are required.

i had wanted to post something along the way. in fact, i have drafted a few entries to be posted. but the thing is, i wasn't able to complete them. and you know how my entries tend to be somewhat 'elaborate' (eheh). so the result - a 2-month (unplanned) hiatus. for you guys who have been checking out my blogs for updates and were disappointed (if these people actually exist la - i dunno. i don't dare to open my webstats anymore. i don't think i can handle the truth) i'm sorry and i really appreciate the gesture. i hope with this post, i'll be able to get you guys up to speed about what has been happening (if you guys are interested, that is. but then again, who isn't? hahaha).

ok, first off – my new job. i didn’t really plan for this to happen. i have already told myself that i was just going to complete 2 years in this country and go back to kl for good after that. this means that i should be back home hitting the floors of l* queen on a weekly basis starting from february 2008 onwards.

but it seems like l* queen will have to wait a little longer for me (lucky for them,i think).

about 2 months ago, my ex-colleague called up to tell me about an opening in his company and asked me if i was interested. he works for a company which is involved in an industry which i am genuinely interested in (i remember feeling a little jealous when he first got his job there earlier this year). the fact that the company is in this particular industry that i like (and also the fact that i can’t resist any possible opportunity for a job interview) prompted me to go for an interview. and alhamdulillah, my streak of successful interviews continued. i got the job.

it took a little less time for me to decide whether or not i should take this job as compared to the last job offer that i got earlier this year. for one thing, the situation at the old company was becoming more and more unbearable, especially with this new joiner who i can’t seem to get along well with (it seems like i have a problem with just about everyone doesn’t it? but believe me, it’s not me – it’s them. hahaha). plus, after rejecting the job offer earlier this year (from a company of the SAME industry) due to some reasons, i think that i am actually given a second chance to pursue my dream career. and the fact that i’ll have the opportunity to travel overseas for assignments in this new job doesn’t hurt at all :). the only downside is that i might need to delay my plan to go back to m’sia for just a bit. and in terms of remuneration, although i am getting an increment from my old salary, effectively i am getting slightly lesser disposable income as this new job is located in the part of the city where houses are freaking expensive (to give you an idea – to rent a STUDIO APARTMENT here would cost around RM6.5k a MONTH. i’m not kidding). my dad isn’t really happy about this job because of this fact (and the fact that it’s in this particular industry that he really isn’t fond of). but despite this, i decided to take up this job. why? because money really isn’t everything. and i think i owe myself this second chance (although it means that i’m going against my parents’ wish). well, this is not really the first time i’m doing this. they should get used to it by now… eheh.

so now here i am, currently sitting in my new cubicle in my new company (blogging away during working hours – hebat kan?). i hope things will work out well for me here. but even if it doesn’t, i wouldn’t be crushed. at least i have given myself the chance. i can just pack up and go home (something that a part of me really wants to do). insyallah, there’ll be opportunities for me back home too. so i guess we'll see how it goes from here..

oh btw, there’s plenty of eye-candy over here in this new company. it’s like i’m working among supermodels (or mannequins, when they are not moving) and the like around here. just across where i’m seated, there’s this middle eastern guy who looks every bit like one of those models in fashion tv. and he dresses like one too. on one day, he was wearing a super tight black t-shirt with this pair of super tight black pants (this is an acceptable dress code in my company – i guess due to the industry that the company is in). today, he’s wearing a full suit (which, may I add, is in perfect colour co-ordination). sesuatuh? not really. apparently, everyone dresses like a plu here. plus, he has a photo of a baby girl as his screen saver. so i’m guessing no. but even he is sesuatuh, i don’t think it’ll affect me in any way at all (unless if he has a thing for asian guys, which i don’t think is the case here).

and no, i’m not gonna take his photo and post it over here. forget it.

p.s: another entry coming up tomorrow. i’m trying to somehow make up for my 'inactivity' :P